Today, I stumbled upon a YT video from the excellent Nick Crowley discussing the phenomena known as 'the backrooms'. As someone who has spent literal decades savoring the strange, the dark, the occult, the conspiratorial, I have somehow missed out on this particular phenomena/story/concept. Watching his short but intriguing overview of the backrooms, it made my skin crawl. I had a very real, very waking experience, just a few years ago, which took me to a place that is disturbingly similar to these so-called 'backrooms'. Imagine my surprise when the video - and most related content - described this as nothing more than a creepypasta with its roots in 4chan. And while my experience does have a seemingly innocent explanation, the similarities are far too intriguing to ignore. This is all 100% true, as it happened, to the best of my recollection.
For background - I am a professional musician and record producer, with a career that started in 2010. Nowadays I spend my time in the studio, but for many years, I toured the US full-time as a bass player with a wide variety of bands.
In mid 2017, one of the larger bands I toured with - 40 Oz to Freedom, a Sublime tribute act - was hired to play the Brooklyn Bowl in Las Vegas. This was an excellent gig, paid great, and we were always treated very well by the staff. The Brooklyn Bowl is a part of the Caesar's family of properties. As such, we were always put up in very nice rooms at one of the Caesar's-owned casinos on the Strip. On the night in question, we had been placed in individual suites at the Linq.
After playing the gig, we all went back over to our rooms. My bandmates were excited to spend the rest of the evening partying it up on the Strip and hanging with fans. However, I had a very early flight out of McCarran the next morning to play with a different group back home in CO. I decided to forgo the offer of a night of fun and just relax in my room until my flight left.
Sometime around 3am, I decided to go down to the lobby for a snack. So I got dressed, put on my shoes, and left my room. I walked to the end of the hall and called the elevator. Getting on, I pressed the big, rounded "L" button - Lobby.
That's when things got strange.
The elevator lurched slightly, as if it didn't quite know what to do with my request. The overhead light flickered out for a split second. But after a beat, as if nothing was amiss, it began its descent without further protest. In the moment, I didn't think much of it. It was late, after all - perhaps it had been sitting for a moment or just needed maintenance.
But when I reached my destination, I knew something was wrong.
The doors slid open, but where there should have been a bustling casino lobby, there was simply a large, empty, white room. A rusted, red-painted metal staircase led down from a landing in front of the elevator to the floor. Opposite the staircase - an enormous red metal door. Above the staircase - a loudly humming, off-yellow florescent light.
Initially, I was baffled. I looked at the display in the elevator. In confirmed this was indeed the lobby. My mind raced to all of the stories and places I'd learned about - glitches in reality, underground cults, human trafficking rings, illicit auctions, Silent Hill. But all of that was just lore. I had to know what I had stumbled on. I walked down the staircase and approached the door. By sheer luck, it was open. I swung it open and stepped through.
Around a sharp corner, there stretched a long, faded hallway, with seemingly infinite rooms branching off in either direction. Aging greenish-yellow wallpaper, patterned with what looked like a leaf or floral motif. Dank, musty, moist carpet. All lit by humming, flickering fluorescent tubes.
A sharp sense of danger and wrongness tingled through me. What the hell is this place? How did I end up here?
I decided to press forward a bit, overcoming the impending sense of doom that had consumed me. I walked up the hallway a short distance, peering into the rooms. Each was dark and empty, devoid of windows, and covered in the same fading wallpaper. There was what looked like graffiti here and there, scrawled illegibly on the walls in black ink.
After venturing past three or four rooms, each step became a dare. I knew I should turn around and get back to my room. Whatever this place was, it was not a pleasant place to be. It made no sense. And so, trusting my better judgement, I turned around, went back through the red door, up the staircase, and called the elevator. After what seemed like an eternity, the doors slid open, and I was whisked without incident back to the plush confines of the Linq.
I had decided that I suddenly wasn't that hungry.
Several hours later, I readied my things to leave for the airport. I got on the same elevator, wondering if it would take me to the same strange hallway. I pressed the large rectangular L once more. No shudder, no flicker this time. And just a moment later, the doors opened to reveal the bustling pre-dawn casino lobby that should have been there all along.
----
Now - as I said at the beginning of this story - there is a partially plausible explanation for this experience. The Linq was established in 2014, after a short 2-year stint under the name 'The Quad'. But prior to 2012, the lot belonged to the aging Imperial Palace casino. The Imperial Palace was built in 1979, and featured an Asian-themed decor. My best guess was that I somehow happened upon a section of the hotel that was simply a part of the old Imperial Palace that hadn't yet been renovated. Descriptions of the interior of this old property roughly match what I saw. However, there are still key elements of my experience that make no sense to me.
The Imperial Palace was destroyed to be rebuilt as The Quad in 2012, 5 years before I was there. How would any section of the old hotel still remain?
Even if there was, in theory, still an untouched portion of the Imperial Palace left after the building itself was torn down, 5 years of renovation renovation were done and 2 name changes occurred, why would this area be easily accessible to guests? And through a strange service entrance, no less?
The elevator took me to the ground floor, yet the area I was in was clearly old hotel rooms. The ground floor of casinos almost never house rooms, only food courts and gaming floors. Rooms start on the third or fourth floors, typically. Why were these rooms seemingly on the ground floor?
The exact button on the exact same elevator took me to the Linq lobby the second time around. Did the elevator massively glitch the first time?
These questions all remain unanswered.
There is one last thing I'd like to mention as well. I hate to be this guy on Reddit - but while I was exploring this area, I filmed it on my phone. I will do everything I can to find that phone - I'm somewhat certain I still have it. If I can, I will happily post the video.
So - did I just find a derelict hallway buried in the bowels of a casino, awaiting a much-needed renovation? Or did I stumble through a strange barrier into the backrooms?
I leave it to you to decide.

So in April, I decided to watch every Bond film from "From Russia with Love" to "Spectre". I had already seen Dr. No for a english assignment last year and while I enjoyed the film didn't feel the need to rewatch it. So here are my thoughts:
Dr. No - A great start to the Bond franchise that is introduces a lot of the classic elements, including "Bond, James Bond", Girls and cold kills. The film is quite quaint by modern standards but is still fun to watch. I will say the second half of the opening is just plain odd though, why after the James Bidn theme am I hearing bongos?. I will say that I wish we saw more of Dr. No than we do in the actual film, as, but otherwise Jospeh Wiseman gives a great performance. Overall 7.5/10
From Russia with Love - Okay this one just got better as it went along. While the pre-title sequence isn't bad we don't actually get to bond for a bit of the film and it does drag a bit. I also love that in the second movie we're already trying to play with the fact that Bond loves to sleep with women. I also find it funny that Robert Shaw looks awfully similar to Daniel Craig. Even with that though Red Grant still delievrs a codl performance that leads to one of the best fight scenes in cinema Overall 8.5/10
Goldfinger - I love this one so much. From a great villain to the DB5 to the iconic imagery and the brilliant henchman in Oddjob. This film gets nearly everything right and I have very few problems with the film as a whole. My only qualm is the barn scene where it appears that Bond may have raped Pussy galore, but that really didn't hinder my enjoyment very much as all. Where my love for the films was truly cemented for the film was for this quote "Did you expect to me to Live?" "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die".Also my favourite character is introduced in this film: Q. The way Desmond Lleweyn plays this character is perfect and I really did not want anyone to replace him. Goldfinger is almsot flawless 9/10
Thunderball - This is where the franchise really went downhill for me. What really annoys me about this film is the first half hour is a complete waste of time that we didn't need. We could have easily started just at scene where Bond is meeting with leaders of the world and M and it still wouldn't affect your understanding of the film. Even after that, so much of the film just feels like wasted potential. The only good part of the film are probably about half the girls, Sean Connery and the one Q scene. The Underwater scenes are just boring and I didn't care. Altough this film does have on e the best title sequences. This will seem harsh to some but honestly this film gets a 4/10
Casino Royale(1967) - Yes I made sure to watch "every" James Bond film (although that wasn't really worth it in the end). What the fuck happened in this film. Honeslty this film is just random scenes together stuck together with a plotline. I remeber David Niven playing some game with Ursula Andress( If I remember correctly). I remember Bond's daughter stuck in a mze like berlin in the cold war. I remember peter sellers going up against Le Chiffre. But the films comes together like a Sandwhich made of Jello and Glue. It's awful. But it's also hilarious to think about. Honestly the story behind the film is more interesting than the actual film. Oh and how lazy is that ending, my God. 3.5/10
You Only live Twice - Alright I knew going in to this some of the films would be dated but I thought that was going to eb about the attitudes towards Women. I did not expect Sean Connery to be badly put in makeup to make him "look Asian". Also the final "Blofeld" reveal is somewhat disappointing, not necessarily bad just somewhat disappointing considering how he was bulit up in From Russia with Love and Thunderball. Although I honeslty didn't have a problem with Connery's performance that much. While it's not great, it wasn't enough to have an impact on my feelings towards the films. Overall not bad. 7/10
On Her Majesty's Secret Service - Alright this one is hard for me. I didn't enjoy the film very much but it's clearly great. Why is it great? Well it gave me Captain America: Civil War which is a film I sometimes don't enjoy but know it is a great film regardless. I was probably just in the wrong mood for this film. As for Lazenby, he's not bad but I think he might have just needed a bit more direction on what to do. Although while it's a gutpunch I love the ending. I'll just give it a 7 now, but I might come back to this one.
Diamonds are Forever - This one is quite weird. From Blofeld to drag to having scenes set in Vegas to Connery weirdly looking too old depsite only being in his 40s. But it can also be a sort of fun weird as well. But then it's not great either. Also I blame this film for the stupid moon landing conspiracy theories. 6.5/10
Live and Let Die - This is a decent start to the Roger Moore Era. Moore feels like Bond but not like Connery which I think was a slight problem with Lazneby trying to be a little too much like Connery. Dr. Kananga is a good villian and Jane Seymour as Solitaire is one the best bond girls. Also Sherriff J.W Pepper is silly but helps us understand how the Roger Moore Era will feel. Overall 7.5/10
The Man with the Golden Gun - "THAT FUCKING SLIDE WHISTLE". Seriously though the slidew whistle over the car flip represents the whole film. Good Idea that were unfortunately done wrong due to horrid execution. However, this makes the film one of the best to enjoy ironically. Scaramnage and Nick Nack are probably the only things done well in the film. Just for ironic enjoyment I'm willing to give this film a 6/10
The Spy Who Loved Me - For the longest time this was my favourite Bond Film. It had my favourite Bond girl in Anya, One the best henchmen in Jaws, Moore at the top of his game, and one the best ending scenes battles in all of Bond. My only problem comes from Stromberg, who's just a bit one note. Overall 9.5/10
Moonraker - I had bad experience watching this one. I was expecting all of it to be set in Space but only the 3rd act actually is. This meant that during the first 2 acts I was just waiting for them to go to space and when they did, I wanted them back on Earth. I really didn't like the space scenes because the blasters reminded me too much of Star Wars. The film itself is probably the most over the top it's ever been and hell, looking back I realise while it was incredibly stupid it was fun seeing a double taking pigeon and the other nonsensical happenings in this film. Honeslty I'll give this a 6.5.
For Your Eyes Only - What happened in this one? This isn't like Casino Royale '67 where it's incredibly confusing but it's more just boring. I really don't remember much at all. I don't remember many of the stunts or any of the bond girls really. Hell, I have no idea who the villain actually was. The only thing I remember is the brilliant opening sequence. 4/10
Octopussy - This one's similar to FYEO for me only stupider. unfortunately though unlike Moonraker where it jump the shark fairly soon to get you ready for the sillier scenes later on, the clown scene at the end I was completely unprepared for looked and just came off as incredibly dumb. Also Octopussy could've been a great villain but no, it's someone else who I didn't care about. 3/10
Never Say Never Again - The first act is weird in that it can't decide if it wants to be classic Bond or a spoof like CR '67. The second act is classic Bond(although they play videogames at some point. What?). I don't remember the 3rd act at all and I got completely lost which really ruined the film for me. 4.5/10
A View To a Kill - This is like TMTWGG for me. The only real good parts are Mayday and Christopher Walken as Zorin. We really should've had Dalton by this point. In fact I think Dalton should've started with For Your Eyes Only. Moore I don't think gives a bad performance but he was clealry too old for the role by this point. As a film it's one of the sillier ones, but at least it wasn't too boring 5/10
The Living Daylights - What a breath of fresh air. It was nice to have a bond film I enjoyed again after some many I didn't like. I love the 3rd act with the both Bond hanging on for his life with the plane and the end fight (although it could give you a seizure if you're epileptic). Timothy Dalton is James Bond. All the other actors were playing a version of James Bond. Dalton is that character personified to a T. The Living Daylights gets a 7/10
Licence to Kill - This was very different. What is easily the darkest bond film (maybe except, Casino Royale '06) is also one of the better bond films. While I enjoyed TLD dalton's bond fits better in this sort of film. I love the plot is literally Bond on a revenge mission rather than just filling out M's orders. Also Q in more than just one scene, is bliss. I Love Q, not only for Desmons Lleweyn, but also because his warmth helps to say "Yes it's dark, but it's still Bond and we can still have fun with it". However the film does almost crumble under all of the different plotlines but unlike NSNA I was still able to get back into the film despite that. Also, It annoyed me that Felix survived the film. It would've been better and more believable if both Felix and his wife had died. LTK gets a 7.5/10
Goldeneye - I don't have a lot to say about this one. Just a great Bond film in it's own right with a great villain and some of the best Bond girls. Although I wasn't big on Brosnan at first though. To me he seemed too generic and didn't really have his own spin to Bond. But he grew on my over time. Besides Goldeneye is still a great film otherwise. 9/10
Tomorrow Never Dies - Again, not a lot to say about this one. Decent Bond flick, that while not as good as Goldeneye is still worth your time and worth checking out at least once. The best part of this film is the villain by far, being a version of Rupert Murdoch(hate that slimy bugger). 7/10
The World is Not Enough - Man I don't have a lot to say about the Brosnan films. I really don't know what to think of this film. The opening scene is great but otherwise I find the film to be another average Bond flick that is a little worse than TND. 6/10
Die Another Day - This one's similar to TMWTGG and AVTAK for me where's it's incrediby stupid but you can have a laugh at it. John Cleese is decent as Q but not as good as desmond lleyweyn. Unlike otehr silly bond films some of the stupid shit can be seen as downright offensive and taking the piss such as the parasailing on waves scene and the end villain literally being Robocop. But the film is somewhat saved by incredibly silly dialogue that is easy to laugh at. Overall 5/10
Casino Royale - First Act is good. The second act is one the best scenes in cinema I have ever seen. I was just invested in that Poker Scene as I was in the Portals scene in Avengers: Endgame if nor more so in the Poker scene. The torture scene is brutal but works perfectly. However once Mr White shows up the films kind of falls apart. This because you could easily assume that Mr White was CIA(Like I did) and just though that was that. While Mathis still had to be dealt with, (whihc QoS messes with for some reason) the film could've just ended with Bond and Vesper. But no we had to have this silly third act which feels like it was only there to kill Vesper. But since the first two acts are still really good and the third act doesn't ruin the movie I'm still willing to look a the film positively. Overall 8/10
Quantum of Solace - I saw this one fairly recently and I still don't remember what happened. I think Greene was the villain and Bond was on the run from MI6 but honeslty that's about it. I will say that in the first half however, Daniel Craig somehow managed to not be Bond and instead come off as top Gear host. The ending really ruins this film however. Well more the gunbarrel itslef. YOU MAKE WAIT THE ENTRIE MOVIE FOR THE GUNBARREL ONLY FOR IT TO THE BE THE WORST GUNBARREL EVER DONE" Ugh. 4.5/10
Skyfall - What a stroke of genius this film was after QoS. One the best Villians in Bond history,Daniel Craig on top of his game, some stunts that are a bit silly but still keep the realims in check and making M the central focus was brilliant . Also while Desmond Lleweyn Will always be my favourite, Ben Whishaw is a great Q. I know this film has some silly plot holes the film is so damn good you just learn to not care about them. I could gush on and on about this film, but this has gone long enough as it has. 10/10 Best Bond film
Spectre - So I'm listening to Bon Jovi's "You give Love a bad Name" and it has the lyric "You Promised me Heaven and gave me Hell". That sums up my feeling towards the films perfectly so I'll just leave at that. 3/10
TLDR Ranking
1.Skyfall

1. The Spy Who Loved Me
   
2. Goldfinger
   
3. Goldeneye
   
4. From Russia With Love
   
5. Casino Royale
   
6. Live and let die
   
7. Dr. No
   
8. Licence to Kill
   
9. The Living Daylights
   
10. You Only Live twice
    
11. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
    
12. Tomorrow Never Dies
    
13. Moonraker
    
14. Diamonds are Forever
    
15. The World is Not Enough
    
16. The man with the Golden Gun
    
17. Die Another Day
    
18. A View to A Kill
    
19. Quantum of Solace
    
20. Never say Never Again
    
21. For Your Eyes Only
    
22. Thunderball
    
23. Casino Royale(1967)
    
24. Octopussy
    
25. Spectre
    

Playing at one online casino all the time can create a comfort level for the user. The navigation is easy, the processes are familiar and friendliness has been established with the casino support staff. If the player plays sporadically at casinos then there is a net advantage in this comfort level. However, if regular players stick to one online private club then they will have to face certain disadvantages.
First of all, playing at one internet casino all the time can get boring. The player is in the same playing environment all the time and this brings with it a sense of an idea. One way of combining familiarity and newness is by wagering at different casinos of the same group. Casinos of the same group use the same software, have very similar navigation and also share promotion schemes. However, they are usually based on different themes and create different playing environments. Hence players can experience change without losing out on the sameness. Another advantage of playing at different online gambling of the same group is that the loyalty rewards scheme is common. Hence no matter on which group casino the players wager their loyalty points accumulates in a common pool. Take, for example, the Casino Rewards group, which is one of the largest online nightclub groups. Its Blackjack Ballroom brand offers a classic and elitist environment. Golden Tiger Casino and Lucky Emperor Casino have an Asian look. Aztec Riches Casino and Yukon Gold Casino have the ancient civilization's theme. And there is the Captain Cooks Casino which takes players on a voyage of exploration and discovery.
However, beyond the point playing with the same software can also get boring. The games are identical and playing the same game is again and again even at different online casinos takes away from the excitement. There are several reputed gaming software providers who have their own set of games and their own strengths. In order to enjoy online gaming to the maxim it is essential to try out online social establishment powered by different software providers. Micro gaming offers the Gold Series of table games like blackjack and roulette, which have a large number of features and considerable customization. Crypto logic offers branded online slot games that bring branded characters like Superman and the Incredible Hulk to life. Vegas Technology specializes in online tournaments. Therefore, by playing at online social establishment powered by different software providers, players can purchase the best games from each online social establishment and thus enhance their gaming experience. Playing at online casinos powered by different software providers also enables players to keep abreast of the latest happenings in online gaming.
There is one very important commercial reason for playing at more than one online social establishment. Most online casinos impose limits on the amount is that can be deposited or wagered or withdrawn in a given week or month. If players wager at only one online social establishment then they are bound to be constrained by these limits. By wagering at many online casinos players can circumvent these limits imposed. If the deposit limit at one online social establishment is reached then the players can switch to another casino. Their gaming can continue unimpeded.
Ideally, a player should register at about five online casinos covering at least three different software providers. This will give him all the variety that he needs and the freedom to wager the way he wants to. Finally there are some well established and experienced web sites are offering these online casino games to their valuable customers. For more information and details, please visit their valuable web site.

Love? Give it six months

Warning: this story will contain mentions of unhealthy relationships and adult themes. The main character also has some character traits that may differs from your own, please do keep that in mind.
Review and comments will be appreciated
(Customisation)
There once was a dashing bachelor
(That looked like )(uses the OH male feces)
Face 1
Face 2
Face 3
Face 4
(Hairstyles)
James Bond (black slick backed)
Don Diego Vega (dark brown wavy hair slicked back long neck)
Steve Rogers (Short blonde side swept hair)
Agent J (Short kinky curls)
Is this him?
Yes
No (go back to customisation)
What is his name?
(Default: George)
(Surname)
(Default: Bishop)
There he meets
A beautiful woman
A handsome man
A beautiful woman
Face 1 (Asian; has pale skin, dark almond eyes, straight black mid-back hair with a mid-part)
Face 2 (Hispanic: has tan skin, deep brown eye and over shoulder-length volumes wavy hair with side bangs.)
Face 3 (Afro-American: dark skin, expressive brown eyes with long blackish brown chest-length kinky curly hair.)
Face 4 (Caucassian: pinkish skin with freckles, clear blue round eyes, collarbone length layered dirty blonde hair)
A handsome man
Face 1 (Asian: pale skin, dark almond eyes, straight black hair put up in a pompadour style)
Face 2 (Hispanic: tan skin, with slicked back wavy hair that always looks like it is coming undone.)
Face 3 (Afro-American: dark skin, expressive brown eyes, with a crewcut with tight natural curls.)
Face 4 (Caucasian: pinkish skin with freckles, clear blue eyes, dirty blonde hair in a Taper haircut.)
As the two peoples eyes lock across the room. The sensation of a pull drives them to get closer to one another.
As the dashing bachelor offered his hand his partner gladly accepted it. Leading into a dance that lasted the rest of the night.
The whole world faded away to the sound of the Jazz band, their breathing and their dancing.
As their lips moved to meet...
???: “Oh come now Joanna, you know that is no way that would ever happen.”
​
(Record Scratch)
Joanna: “Oh for craps sake, George I was getting to the best part.”
George: “Forgive me for finding it uncomfortable that you have decide how my love life is going to go.”
Lance: “He does have a point there sis.”
Joanna: “Way to stand up for your sister Lance.”
Lance “Look I’m all for love conquers and all that jazz but it is kind of difficult to make a love life for someone else.”
George: “Thank you.”
Lance: “I mean he isn’t a completely lost cause. I’m sure some desperate soul will take him.”
Lance: “I mean he’s got dads looks, and he managed to get with mom when they were young.”
Lance: “That might make up for his zero tact.”
George: “Your faith in me is awe inspiring.”
Lance: “Oh cheer up. With your upcoming trip to Vegas, maybe you’ll have luck in love and not just on the poker table.”
Joanna: “Maybe you’ll meet someone special!”
You snort, finding the idea silly.
George: “I wouldn’t bet on it.”
Chapter 1: One night in Vegas
In an underground speakeasy decked out in old decor from the 20th centuries first half. You sit there nursing your drink. After a long day at the office you love nothing more than when you can enjoy your secret fancy. Dressed up in an old-fashioned pinstripe suit and a fedora. You feel like a king, this little piece of haven in Chicago that seemed to be frozen in time.
You feel your friend beside you stir, he himself having to relax from work as well as dreading an upcoming event.
After his fifth sight you opt to actually talk about it.
You take a swing of your drink and decide to talk about the elephant in the room.
Or more accurately you decide to talk about the issue in pre 1940’s slang
George: “Your bear cat of a sister still giving you a hard time?”
Jeremy: “Noneofya.”
He mumbled.
George: “Look Pally, I known you since we were scrubs and had squat. What's eating you?”
Jeremy: “That dame will chisel me out of every dime I own.”
George: “Stephie acting like a Big cheese cause she is getting hitched?”
Jeremy: “She wants everything spiffy and I’m quite sure her ankle biters will be paying the bills. My folks are on my case regarding my dame.”
You think for a moment. Jeremy and Katie had been together for four years. They got one another, they lived together.
George: “Stephie’s lucky her guy thinks she’s the Cat's meow.”
You said reflecting on everything you ever heard regarding Darren, he was a good guy. Definitely not the smartest but he loved Stephanie like she was the only woman alive. You just wondered why anyone would want to spend time with that woman.
Jeremy: “Alright, real talk.”
Jeremy said as he dropped ‘the act’, we were no longer hot shots in the prohibition era. We were now just George Bishop and Jeremy Jackson a financial advisor and a computer wizard.
George: “In all do honesty I do not see why you need to go there? Aren’t bachelorette parties strictly female?”
Jeremy: “They used to be, but I am quite sure I am not going with them to be pampered like the bridesmaids.”
George: “Then your function is?”
Jeremy: “If I were to guess, fall guy and pack mule.”
Jeremy: “I think she is also doing it to brag, that ‘she did it first.’ To rub it in Katie’s face.”
George: “You never really care what your sister does. Why now?”
Jeremy: “Because they are pressuring me and Katie. Not just my family but next to everyone we know. ‘When is the wedding? What is the venue? How many guests? Are you going to have it this year?’ Look I love my girl, but none of us is in rush to walk down the aisle.”
​
Yeah, you know, you were the first one Jeremy told about his plan to propose. You were happy for him but at the end of the day it was up to Katie and Jeremy. Not you or their families. However the rest of the world seemed to think differently.
Mom: “Oh sweetheart, happy valentine’s day! Are you spending it with someone special?”
George: “Mom, you know I am not looking for someone.”
Mom: “Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find that certain someone sooner or later.”
​
Yeah, it isn’t enough your sister is married and your brother is utterly twitterpated with his boyfriend. You need to ensure your oldest is also with someone.
​
Boss: “Mr. Bishop, I must say. I am impressed with your work ethics, but we have decided to go with Mr. Robinson as the face of the company.”
Never minding the fact that you worked twice as hard as said college.
George: “I understand. May I ask what made you choose him?”
Boss: “We did research and found that your college would be favourable, due to circumstance.”
​
Translation: we wanted a man that was married and not the workaholic bachelor.
​
​
Stranger 1: “You see that guy over there?”
Stranger 2: “You mean the one with the RBF?”
Stranger 1: “Yeah, probably one of those loners, will never find anyone.”
Stranger 2: “I mean who goes to a restaurant like this alone?”
​
Honestly? You can’t have a meal alone?
​
​
George: “Yeah, I know that feeling.”
Jeremy: “Seriously.”
Both of you take a sigh.
Jeremy: “But in all honesty. Thank you for coming along, I really appreciate it. Would probably loose my mind if I went alone.”
George: “Of course.”

1. It would be a shame to lose my partner in crime.
   
2. My boss would be pissed if I didn’t.
   
3. Who would turn down free drinks?
   

Jeremy: “Yeah sounds about right.” *Choice 1*
George: “Remember how we got back at Marcus Thatcher?” *Choice 1*
Jeremy: “Oh, I remember. Too bad he didn’t check the file we sent, it might have saved him some embarrassment.” *Choice 1*
George: “Big tough football star being fooled by ‘two scrawny’ freshmen.” *Choice 1*
Jeremy: “And we were hailed as heroes for a month.” *Choice 1*
Jeremy: “Wait, don’t tell me HR department has been on your case.” *Choice 2*
Geroge: “Yep, too much overtime.” *Choice 2*
Geroge: “Never mind I make sure that everything is quality controlled.” *Choice 2*
Jeremy: “Geesh. Well glad to know I could be of service.” *Choice 2*
Jeremy: “Ah there it is, I knew you had a hidden agenda. *Choice 3*
George: “Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, when have I ever hid something from you?” *Choice 3*
Jeremy: “Alright fair, you are honest to the point of insult.” *Choice 3*
Geroge: “You asked for my opinion, besides those shoes where ugly as sin.” *Choice 3*
Both of you laugh, you had been in each other’s life since kindergarten. You where the odd ducks, most kids and adults always considered you to be cold or judging. Even if neither of you had that intention.
Jeremy raises his glass.
Jeremy: “To intellectual companions.”
George: “To intellectual friends.”
You said as you raised your own drink in a toast.
​
​
The weekend finally arrived for the trip. You arrived at O’Hare airport with a good three hours to spare. You crack open the book you brought with you.
It was a supernatural detective story you received as a gift on last birthday a few months back. While you applaud your sister for trying, it was still jarring to follow all the supernatural deus-ex-machinas that discarded real detective work.
So that is how a 31 year old was reading a supernatural book in broad daylight.
George: ‘ with gun drawn, Duskraven made her way down the basement, the surroundings smelled of blood and muck.’
Geroge: ‘Romano’s empire was now in full display in front of her. Fae, lined the walls, eyes hollow and only the movement of their chest indicating they were still alive.’
George: ‘Duskraven took out her polaroid camera, it was a risky but if this would ever have a chance to justice. Her leads and information would need to be solid if she wanted to take down the vampire cartel. She just hoped the light for the camera would be noticed.’
George: ‘With a blinding light the entire basement lit up temporarily blinding her, when she regained her sight again a new horror met her eyes. Multiple pairs of hungry red eyes.’
Jeremy: “George!”
You tear your eyes away from the book in your hand.
There is Jeremy and Katie, hand in hand. Seeing them together was always a happy occasion.
Katie and Jeremy met at your favourite speakeasy a few years back. You didn’t blame your friend for becoming interested in the ICU nurse. Curly red hair and big blue eyes. Even if the courtship had started out rocky due to both of them being so shy. They overcame that hurdle and found something they wanted.
Sometimes however you wished you didn’t feel like you were interrupting them.
George: “Good morning, is Stephanie and her friends also here?”
Katie: “No they had a sleep over at Daria’s house. So they will be carpooling.”
You look at your clock and it was about two hours before the plane would take off, your bags where checked in and you were ready to leave and get to the section where the gates would be. But there was still no sign of Stephanie.
As you though you heard a rumbling sound.
Both you and Katie looked at Jeremy as a sheepish grim grew on his face.
Katie: “Told you, a ham sandwich wouldn’t hold.”
Jeremy: “It will hold till lunch, which is a few hours away.”
George: “You sure that is a good idea?”
Jeremy: “Tell you what, I’ll go if you come with me and Katie.”
Katie: “So what do you say?”
McDermott's
· Sure, I could have a bite. (💎12)
· Perhaps we shouldn’t
Diamond Choice:
George: “Alright, let us have something to eat.”
Jeremy: “Good! Airplane food leaves much to be desired.”
Katie: “You always think with your stomach.”
Jeremy: “Yet you love me.”
Katie: “Yes, odd isn’t it?”
You make your way inside and stay in line.
You look at the menu and order
· Breakfast burrito
· Bacon and scrambled eggs
· Fruit and oatmeal
You order your food along with a big coffee. You all slide into the booth, Katie had her yogurt in hand both of you looked worryingly at Jeremy’s breakfast.
(Tilting tower of pancakes)
(Holy crap!)
You swore for a moment both you and Katie was reading each other’s mind.
‘He is going to puke.’
George: “Hey Jeremy, think you can get some napkins?”
Jeremy: “Sure.”
As he left you plied a few pancakes away, making sure that you saved the top one so he wouldn’t notice. Katie making sure the tower didn’t fall.
She gave a thumbs up, thanking you.
George: “So Katie, how have you been?”
Katie: “There is always a lot of things to do at the ICU, sometime I wonder where humanity is headed.”
George: “Really, that bad?”
Katie: “How would you explain having a locomotive lodge up your rectum?”
George: “How did that happened?”
Katie: “They claim they fell on it, if I had a dollar every time this happened I wouldn’t have any student debts.”
You shake your head, you have been thinking a bit about what Jeremy said at the Speakeasy. You had also noticed that something was up with Katie, she was on edge.
George: “Katie…”
1. “Did you want to go on this trip?”
2. “Has Mr and Mrs Jackson been pressuring you?”
3. “Do you want to get married?”
Katie: “In all honesty no, but Stephanie has made me a bridesmaid. I need to partake in these things. Even if I wish I didn’t.” *Choice 1\*
George: “Why?” *Choice 1\*
Katie: “I wish I could care as little about protocol as you do, but she is Jeremy’s sister, if I say no it might affect my relationship with Jeremy and his family.” *Choice 1\*
Katie: “Yes, I mean no, I mean… it’s complicated.” *Choice 2\*
George: “How come?” *Choice 2\*
Katie: “I’m 30 years old George, time is ticking. They want grandchildren to spoil.” *Choice 2\*
George: “And you have to be married to do that?” *Choice 2\*
Katie: “Of course I love Jeremy.” *Choice 3\*
George: “That wasn’t the question, do you want to get married?” *Choice 3\*
Katie: “It is just so big, all those expectations. I… it scares the crap out of me.” *Choice 3\*
George: “Listen, I will tell you something.”
You said using your stern voice.
George: “Jeremy loves you, he chose you. You chose him. That is the truth at the end of the day.”
Katie looked at you, a shy smile graced her lips. She mouthed a thank you.
Jeremy made his way back to you with a great pile of napkins. You all begin to take part of the meal. During the entire meal Katie and Jeremy’s shoulders touched and they looked as content as they could be.
(‘Loving it’ you had breakfast at McDermott)
None diamond choice:
George: “Let us just sit down and relax, we should be in Las Vegas at 1 am. Knowing Stephanie we will probably eat something there before heading to the hotel.”
Katie: “Maybe, I’ll get some water at least.”
Jeremy: “Good idea.”
(‘Not hungry’ you didn’t have a McDermott breakfast)
As all of you wait for the supposed ‘bride’ you hear commotion.
Sure enough you see a brunette with a close to permanent scowl on her face. Followed but two very flustered women.
“There you are! WHERE have you been?!”
Her tone is as pleasant as you remember, nails on a chalkboard.
Jeremy: “We have been here waiting for you.”
Stephanie: “You aren’t even going to help me with my bags. What type of brother are you?”
Jeremy: “Well we are here, we have about half an hour before the plane leaves. So let’s get to the gate.”
Stephanie just huffed. Storming away.
George: “Wow she is in a good mood.”
You state sarcastically.
Jeremy: “Yeah she gets like that some time.”
Jeremy: “Just try not to set her of, she can be a handful.”
Katie: “I mean how bad could it possibly be?”
You were never the very superstitious type, but you were quite sure that Katie just opened Pandora’s Box.
​
​
From the time the plane touched ground in Nevada everything that could set of Stephanie did.
Stephanie: “URRGH!!! where is that shuttle! He is LATE!!”
Jeremy: “They told us like five minutes ago there is traffic jam.”
Stephanie: “Then he should have planned it earlier!”
Stephanie: “I will not wait an hour! WE have a schedule to follow!”
George:’ This coming from the woman that almost missed the plane to her own bachelorette party.’
Daria: “They say it is only another 15 minutes.”
​
​
Stephanie: “I DON’T CAREEEEE!”
Stephanie: “What do you mean that our suits where not booked?”
Receptionist: “You never sent in the deposit for your stay.”
Stephanie: “THAT WAS GEMMA’S JOB!”
Gemma: “I told you, the suits needed to be paid for by the same person that booked them.”
​
​
Stephanie: “You are a bridesmaid, you are supposed to make things work!”
George: ‘Honetly…’
George: “Sigh…”
Stephanie: “THIS ISN’T WHAT I ORDERED!”
Waitress: “Yes it is, you wanted a calamari.”
The poor waitress looked exhausted and probably wanted to be anywhere but here, not that one could blame her.
Stephanie: “NO IT ISN’T! I wanted the pasta with bacon and cheese.”
Katie: “A cabonara?”
Jeremy: “Stephie we are at a seafood restaurant.”
​
​
George: ‘IS she ever satisfied?’
All of us where back at the hotel, Stephanie insisting that they ‘needed’ a new set of clothes for the casino and club they were planning on hitting. Jeremy looked ready to just give up.
George: “You know, you could simply say no to her.”
Jeremy threw an exhausted glair at me.
Jeremy: “If it was so simple neither me, you nor Katie would be here right now.”
George: “And you wouldn’t be here doing this Sisyphean task, which obviously brings you missery.”
Jeremy: “Yeah well, I still want my parents in my life, if I didn’t do this, they would never let me live it down.”
What to wear to the casino?
· Tuxedo 007 (💎 15)
· Basic black
Diamond option:
Jeremy: “You look like James Bond.”
George: “I’ll have a martini, shaken not stirred.”
You said and an amused smile spread across Jeremy’s face.
None diamond choice
“I Think I’ll stick with this.”
“Fair enough, I am too exhausted to care anyway.”
​
​
​
Jeremy said with a tired smile. You both left the room, making our way to one of the pulsing centres of the strip.
There in the golden casinos you thought finally your luck would finally turn for the better. That the glamorous atmosphere would rub off on the soon-to-be bride. Causing her to stop doing her impression of a screeching barn owl and let ALL of them enjoy Sin City.
Well it seemed to have worked, for now.
Both you and Jeremy where at the black jack tables, enjoying yourself. While the ladies were back at the slots machines.
Jeremy folded a while ago, it is just you and one more. You looked down at your cards a jack and an ace. You opponent opposite you had this confident smirk on his face. But you saw how the sweat was running down his face. He was bluffing.
George: “Hum…”

1. Act as if you have a bad hand
   
2. Act arrogant and self-assured
   
3. Do not react at all and watch the man squirm
   

You decide to let your brows furrow in what would look like frustration. The man opposite you lets the edge of his mouth turn in a smirk. His confidence boosting with every minute. *Choice 1*
You decide to put on the theatrics, giving a smile like the cat that ate the canary you look at your opponent. That is growing more and more agitated by the minute. *Choice 2*
You keep your face natural, a lot of people often comment that you look angry whenever they see you. You could only assume it was true because your opponent was practically squirming in his seat. *Choice 3*
When he reviles his hand, you pause for a moment before reviling yours.
You won.
George: “I’ll be taking these.”
You said as you dragged them back chips and split them evenly between you and Jeremy. You had started with the same amount of tokens. Even if you did work with money daily, this was one of those occasions you allowed yourself to be a bit more relaxed regarding that subject.
Jeremy: “Nice one.”
George: “All in a day’s work.”
Jeremy: “So what next?”
Before you could answer you hear commotion from the opposite side of the casino. The screeching voice meant that Stephanie was somewhere in the middle of it. Both of you sigh, knowing that your happy hour was over.
Sure enough there at the era leading into one of the shows where Stephanie and her entourage, all of them except Stephanie wearing baby pink dresses and Stephanie herself wearing a sash reading ‘all hail the bride’ along with a tacky tiara probably worth a five dollar bill at most.
She was screaming at a bouncer, while all the others tried in vain to calm the soon-to-be bride.
Stephanie: “You are an idiot! What service is this!?”
When we had arrived there was already an audience forming. Yeah this was common whenever Stephanie was involved. ‘Drama Queen’ had been your nickname for her during high school for a reason.
Jeremy: “What happened?”
Bouncer: “Your friend here slapped one of your dancers, something about them stealing from them.”
Stephanie: “I am the BRIDE! I am not supposed to have to pay for anything during my bachelorette party.”
Jeremy: “Stephanie, what about we get some fresh air, okay?”
Jeremy said as he tried to deescalate the situation. He gently grabbed her arm, but Stephanie was having none of it.
It felt like it all happened in slow motion, Stephanie turned around and a closed fist and rage connected it with Jeremy’s face. Your friend flew back and hit his head on the floor pretty hard. Stephanie didn’t even care to check what state her brother was in. Katie flew to her fiancés side and the sight of your friend’s bleeding face was enough to make you see red.
George: “Alright enough.”

1. Scold her
   
2. Embarrass her
   
3. Give her the evil eye
   

George: “Stephanie, you are way out of line.” *Choice 1*
Stephanie: “No I am not!” *Choice 1*
George: “You have taken no responsibility during this trip, you have been rude to every member of the party, you have caused a scene at every place we have been to. Do I need to keep going?” *Choice 1*
Your voice is like ice, you swear the temperature just dropped a few degrees. As you pointed out everything she has done during the less than 24 hours you been together. *Choice 1*
Stephanie looks angrily at her bridesmaids as is she is waiting for them to defend her. *Choice 1*
They do not, they know you are just stating the truth. *Choice 1*
George: “Your own brother did not want to be on this trip, he begged me to come along. Doesn’t that tell you just how vile you have been acting?” *Choice 1*
Stephanie: “You listen here…”*Choice 1*
George: “No you listen for once in your life!” *Choice 1*
You rarely let your emotions out but Stephanie was a special case. *Choice 1*
George: “If this is how you treat people, do not be surprised when Darren leaves you at the altar. He deserve better than this.” *Choice 1*
With that as a closing line you left, Jeremy might need to get to the hospital. He was worth more than Stephanie would ever be in your eyes. *Choice 1*
As you leave you are quite sure you hear someone applauding. *Choice 1*
With determined steps you made your way to one of the waitresses. *Choice 2*
George: “Excuse me.” *Choice 2*
You hand her a 50 dollar bill as you grab a big jug glass filled with beer and briskly walk back to Stephanie that is still screaming profanities. Because of her back being turned to you she didn’t see you. You saw how people began to take out their cameras and phones. No one made a move to stop you. *Choice 2*
With one quick movement you had poured it over her and a shriek of surprise entered your ears. *Choice 2*
Stephanie: “What the fuck is wrong with you!?” *Choice 2*
George: “Are you done with your little temper tantrum?” *Choice 2*
Stephanie: “What!? How dare you!” *Choice 2*
George: “You have been acting like a spoiled five year old since the moment we landed. I am surprised no one has done anything until now.” *Choice 2*
Stephanie: “You are so not coming to my wedding!” *Choice 2*
George: “It isn’t a loss, I was never here for you. Now excuse me I have more important things to deal with.” *Choice 2*
You left Stephanie to deal with the people that had gathered for the ‘show’ and she began to scream at them and calling them all sorts of names. But no one was intimidated, they found it hilarious. *Choice 2*
You grab hold of Stephanie, until she has no choice but to look at you. She is screeching, calling you every slur and bad name in the book. Your hands are firm on her upper arm, you just hold no squeezing, no pushing. You keep your eyes locked on her, you must have stood there quite a while until finally her defiant stare became weaker and weaker. *Choice 3*
You kept hold of her until she burst out into tears. At that point you let her go. Knowing you had knocked her down a peg. *Choice 3*
​
But Stephanie wasn’t your main concern, Jeremy was. You moved to stay with Katie and Jeremy, the crowd parted as the red sea as you walked by. All in stunned silence. *Choice 3*
​
​
George: “Are you sure you’ll be alright?”
Jeremy grimaced at the questing, blood still trickling down his face from where he had been punched. Luckily the nose would heal, the only question was what colour it would be in time for Stephanie’s wedding.
Jeremy: “I’ll be fine, Katie is here too. She knows what she is doing.”
Katie: “Having your fiancé being a nurse does have its perks huh?”
Jeremy: “Yeah one of many.”
The two of them smile at one another, before Jeremy turn back to you.
Jeremy: “Think you can manage your own?”
George: “I think I can stay out of trouble for one night.”
Jeremy: “Maybe, see you tomorrow George.”
Katie: “Have a nice night.”
With that the two of them made their way up to the hotel rooms.
You decided to check out the hotel bar. Despite being 10 o’clock it was surprisingly empty. Some people where there, some having already had a few to many.
But what caught your eye was a stranger sitting at the end of the bar.
There sitting in a knee-length ocean blue dress was a woman, leaning over resting her elbows at the counter. She had a faraway look in her face as she absentmindedly stirred her drink. *♀*
There sitting a young man, nursing his drink. His blue vest and slacks combo suited him well with the crisp white shirt. His attention seeming being elsewhere. *♂*
You sit down by the bar and is about to call on the bartender when I noticed a man, clearly intoxicated made a move on the man/woman at the end of the bar.
Drunk Idiot: “Hello there, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
The person in question just rolled hehis eyes. Clearly not in the mood to be the object of drunk admiration.
Drunk Idiot: “How about you and me go up to my hotel room and get to know each other a bit more.”
Haven seen the man/woman in question do every none-verbal que but slapping the idiot you decide enough was enough. He had disturbed you and the rest of the bar enough.
With the smoothest and coolest tone of voice you could muster you cleared your throat to get the drunk man’s attention. It wasn’t appreciated to say the least.
Drunk idiot: “What the hell do you want prick.”
The smell of alcohol radiating off him, one would think he had bathed in vodka. It was surprising no one had tossed him out from being a nuisance earlier.
George: “I do believe that you are bothering him/her. Please stop.”
George: “Look we are old friends, its noneofya business so bug off.”
George: “Oh really, then what is your friends name?”
Drunk Idiot: ”What?”
George: “What. Is. your. friend’s. name? If you are old friends you should surely know it.”
Drunk Idiot: “It’s ummm… Terry.”
???: “That is not even close.”
With both of you staring straight into him, mentally cornering him.
Drunk idiot: ”Screw this.”
The man declared in frustration and with that the idiot stormed off leaving both of you alone.
After making sure the guy was out of sight you turned back to the stranger.
He/She gave you a grateful smile.
???: “Thanks’ I really appreciate that?”
George: “It was nothing.”
You said making yourself ready to go back to your seat.
???: “Wait!”
The stranger called after you, out of sheer politeness you turned back around.
He/she Seemed a bit nervous, what now?
???: “Can I at least buy you a drink?”
You thought for a moment. You were on your own, Jeremy was probably nursing the bruise with some painkillers and you did not want to risk running into Stephanie or any of the bridesmaids. It also felt wrong to not take the opportunity to experience Vegas however.
So you accepted.
???: “Well What’s your poison?”
He/she asked in a joyous tone.

1. Matrini
   
2. Old Fashioned
   
3. Red Wine
   

With a quick wave they called the bartender over.
???: “So what brings you to Vegas?”
George: “Bachelorette party.”
???: “Did it have anything to do with that brunette that slapped one of the dancers and had security physically lift her out?”
George: “Bingo.”
???: “No one got seriously hurt?”
George: “Thankfully no.”
With that the bartender served the drink and the stranger slipped a 50 dollar bill.
You lift the glass in a gesture for a thank you. And let the beverage slip down your throat. It was nice, it was a good year and the taste was strong but not overpowering.
You noticed that his/her eyes were on you, almost as if they were trying to decipher your character.
George: “What are you doing?”
???: “Trying to get a read on you, some say what you order is often an indication of who you are.”
George: “Really? Then what can you say about me?”
You asked, deciding to humour them.
???: “I can say that that you are a man that know what he wants and how you want them.” *Martini*
???: “You are an old soul, you probably know your liquor well. My guess you have a great library at home.” *Old fashioned*
???: “You are quite classy, and you can find a way to get drunk before noon.” *Red wine*
With that you give an amused chuckle.
George: “Well there is some truth to that statement.”
You take a look at the drink they self are nursing.
(Dark n Stormy)
(Humm...)
George: “If I were to do the same to you, I guess you have a sweet tooth and might have wanted to be a pirate at some point.”
At that comment the stranger began to laugh. It was the infectious kind of laugh that made someone warm form the bottom of their stomach.
???: “Alright you got me there.”
He/she then stuck out their hand.
(My name is..)
(Default name: Skyler)
George: “‘Skyler’ it is a pleasure to meet you.”
You said as you shook it.
You take in Skyler’s look. You had to admit that they were an attractive specimen of a man/woman.
George: “The name is George Bishop.”
Skyler: “George Bishop, how professional sounding.”
He/ she said as if they were tasting your name in their mouth.
George: “Well I do hope so, would be difficult to be an advisor if people believed I was a joker.”
Skyler: “Ah, so you are one of those people that look at you and stamp ‘rejected’ on every paper?”
George: “I believe that I am fair in my judgement.”
George: “How about yourself?”
At that their eyes fell.
Skyler: “Right now, I’m a 30 year old trying to figure out my next move.”
George: “How come?”
Skyler: “Lost my job due to relationship issues between my manager and her boyfriend. Apparently, me being friendly was mistaken for flirting.”
Skyler: “What, they want a grumpy Greeter at the door?”
George: “That is unprofessional.”
Skyler: “Yeah, well relationships are messy.”
George: “Agreed.”
Skyler: “I must say the way you handled that woman, it was surprising.”
Skyler said in a genuinely impressed voice.
George: “You were watching?”
Skyler: “Kind of hard not to, I’m surprised half the hotel didn’t hear her.”
George: “Someone had to show her she isn’t the Queen of Sheba.”
Skyler: “What are your thought on marriage?”
You shoot up a bit, a bit startled by the blunt question.
George: “My thoughts?”
Skyler: “You seem like a guy that know what he thinks. I want to pick that brain a bit.”
It had been a while since someone had so blatantly flirted with you. To be fair you were a bit surprised. Dating had often been a minefield for you.
George: “Marrige…”

1. It’s an institution
   
2. It’s a partnership
   
3. It’s indescribable
   

George: “Historically it was a way to ensure land, money and heirlooms where added into a new household.” *Choice 1*
George: “It was also a safety for children back in the day, since basterds often faced quite a few challenges from being born out of wedlock.” *Choice 1*
George: “It is a symbol of trust, that you do have someone that you can count on.” *Choice 2*
George: “But at the end of the day, if you are unfair to that partner hey might not stay.” *Choice 2*
George: “To describe marriage is like trying to describe oceans and water. Even with similarities we can see, gathering it all in an explanation would probably not give a fair judgement.” *Choice 3*
Skyler: “To me it’s a promise. ‘To have and to hold’ it is silly in this day and age were people divorce left and right for trivial things.”
Skylers eyes became dark, falling into deep thoughts. You had never been the poetic kind, but there was a sweet sentiment in Skyler’s view on things. Your parents where still married over 30 years now. Your sister was due some time in December, your brother was off celebrating a two year dating anniversary and your paternal grandmother still loved her deceased husband dearly.
To you it just never happened, perhaps it wasn’t for you.
George: “That we can agree on, people are so afraid they will settle. At the first sign of trouble they leave.”
Skyler: “So that woman form before… how long do you think her marriage will last?”
George: “If she acts like she did tonight, I wonder if her husband will even stay for the ceremony.”
You looked at your new companion and in an unusual turn of events you called the bartender over.
George: “Can I buy you a drink?”
​
​
With that Skyler smiled, deciding to keep you company.
Sometime later you awake to the sound of your alarm clock.
You feel a splitting headache, you drag you hand over your face as you do you feel a cold metal band around your finger. Pulling back as your eyes focus you see that it is a plain sliver coloured band.
(is that?)
· Oh no…
Feeling more sober than ever before you realised just what a mess you got yourself into.
George: ‘I just got married in Vegas.’
Well, you’re screwed.

I recently sampled a good amount of the fragrances from Imaginary Authors and thought I'd shared my thoughts and opinions! I am not an avid reviewer, so I hope my words make sense and are able to help guide people in the right direction. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this indie house!
Rating Scale: Full Bottle Worthy, Must Try, Worth a Sample, Meh, Hard Pass
Telegrama

• This was the scent that made me say ‘okay maybe it’s time I look into this house’. I’m into barbershop and lavender scents, so this immediately appealed to me. It opens up with a spicy and very fresh lavender note. I love it already. This is a different take on a barbershop scent that I could see myself wearing. Talc was never something I thought about as a note. The note is definitely there, but it never makes itself so apparent that one would think ‘this should NOT be in here’. Along with the vanilla, the talc rounds out the spicy black pepper. It works very well here. On the dry down as the pepper and fresh linen opening starts to fade and the vanilla becomes even stronger. It starts to remind me of another fragrance, Armani Code Absolu. To me, this fragrance evolves into a fresher take on ACA with lavender.
• Rating - Full Bottle Worthy
• Age - 18+

Slow Explosions

• Slow Explosions was not a scent that I looked much into when I researched this house. This was mainly due to the fact that leather is either hit or miss for me. Fragrances like Tuscan Leather were wayyy too leathery to me. Ombre Leather did the trick, but I didn’t wear it much as sometimes I found myself ‘accepting’ the leather - I didn’t want to feel this way with fragrances. This one opens up bright and fresh soufruity. It’s green apple for sure! It’s a nice note. Not like a jolly rancher, but a quality green apple smell. The leather and rose start to appear. The rose is not overpowering at all. Even people who are on the fence with rose fragrances will come to enjoy this. The cashmeran gives this fragrance a nice subtle skin scent or feeling to it. Overall, this was a nice surprise. To me, this is more enjoyable than Ombre Leather. In comparison, Slow Explosion takes that leather note and tones it down just a bit, and changes up the mixed fruit note to only green apple.
• Rating - Full Bottle Worthy
• Age - 25+

Memoirs of a Trespasser

• Ah, this has to be one of the best names out there for a fragrance. Where Telegrama has a brighter vanilla note, the vanilla note here is something that was cooked and tossed into an oak barrel to age. It’s a nice, sophisticated (insert pooh bear meme here) vanilla. Not too sweet, but sweet enough to where one would think this would taste delicious if it were a food. This fragrance is so smooth - both in resin and wood notes. I can see why this fragrance put IA on the map for many fragrance enthusiasts. The woods are realistic. They barely transition into the campfire theme, but still retain their own scent. The resins are there, but seem to be faint. The woods overpower them, but not in a bad way. Yes, this is comparable to MMM By the Fireplace as some may have mentioned, but this is more grown up. For me, Memoirs of a Trespasser would be an easy choice over By the Fireplace. The woods here just give it a more wearable feeling to me. Perfect for the winter!
• Rating - Full Bottle Worthy
• Age - 18+

Cape Heartache

• Before smelling, I was worried the strawberry note was too strong. In the initial blast, IT IS. Woah, smells like strawberry jam! But it quickly tones down in minutes and lingers around. A very piney and vibrant woody scent with a tiniest hint of that campfire smoke. Definitely Christmas-y like many have said. Not sure if I would get a full bottle of this. It’s nice to smell, but I don’t think I would want to smell like this. Reminds me of walking through the Christmas tree aisle of a holiday themed shop.
• Rating - Must try
• Age - 25+

Saint Julep

• An interesting and fun take on a summer scent! If you’ve never tried a mint julep, I would suggest doing so right away! The tangerine here is realistic. The mint is nice and fresh. I don’t get much of the boozey note in here, but the combination of the aforementioned already reminds me of a nice refreshing drink. This is summer tropical vibes bottled. I have to say one thing - the sugar cube note in here reminds me of BR540, no question about it. It’s not a bad thing, it just goes with the overall theme of this fragrance. The only drawback to this is the performance. Here’s hoping for an ‘extreme’ flanker!
• Rating - Must try
• Age - 18+

Whispered Myths

• My oh my. First, I would like to start off this review by saying that I am not into the funky ouds, dirty ouds, fecal ouds. Not my cup of tea at all. In the initial sniffs, that melon note is there. It’s nice and not overpowering. It’s very interesting because I don’t think I’ve smelled the combination of melon and oud before. After a few minutes of this drying down, I immediately imagined sitting down and reading an old book in the captain’s cabin of an abandoned, shipwrecked, wooden sail ship. It’s amazing how this scent is able to conjure up such imagery. At this point, I was going to give this a hard pass. I wasn’t into how this was making me feel. After the melon dies down, the ambrette appears and brings me on another journey. This time, I’m in an eastern asian medicine shop (Cambodia?...). This shop has old wooden cabinets. Mahogany comes to mind. Within those cabinets are dried, potent herbs and medicinal products. This is a fragrance that I appreciate the art of, and shows that Josh is able to use oud in a very interesting way. However, for me, this is not something I would wear.
• Rating - Worth a Sample
• Age - 30+

O, Unknown!

• This was one that peaked my interest mainly due to the tea note. The ‘???’ imaginary note made me say ‘okay, let’s see what this is about’. I can dig a nice iris note to a certain extent. Dior Homme was a fragrance that I couldn’t get into fully liking. I sold my bottle. The orris butter in here brings back memories of that fragrance. It is only until the tea note comes to life, albeit subtly, that it morphs into a whole new scent. The black tea is smooth. I don’t get much, if at all, the smokiness from the lapsang souchong. As for the imaginary note, I can’t put my finger on it. It’s some kind of sweet, fruit note or accord that pokes its head out. It begs me to figure out what it is, but I just don’t know. It’s nice though. This scent is a very well blended scent.
• Rating - Worth a Sample
• Age - 25+

Yesterday Haze

• This is a very unique scent; I haven’t smelled something like this before. It conjures up an imagery of somewhere damp. I couldn’t really put my finger on how to describe this until I stumbled upon a fragrantica review where the reviewer mentioned locations like Seattle and Vegas. I couldn’t agree more. This is a creamy fig fragrance that fits a rainy day mood. Seattle is the perfect picture to envision (if you live in the states). And laughably enough, this does smell like walking through a Vegas casino in the morning, oxygen pumping and all, after they’ve cleaned up everything from the night before. The whipped cream and walnut note is what I think gives it a hazy, moody vibe. It’s smooth and rich.
• Rating - Worth a Sample
• Age - 18+

Soft Lawn

• Hmm I didn’t know what to expect from this. The tennis ball accord kind of threw me off. On initial sniff, it immediately made me think of a pear and a melon combined on the top notes. It must be the linden. After this fades to the background, the fresh-cut grass, ivy, and fresh clean vetiver come through. These green notes support the tennis ball accord which isn’t strong, but it’s there. I tend to like my more green scents with some type of woody backbone - this ain’t it. They are reformulating this, so I’m interested to see what it’s like in the next iteration. Overall, this is quite linear and underwhelming.
• Rating - Meh
• Age - 18+

Every Storm a Serenade

• This was one of the scents I was excited to try. In the opening, it’s a blast of freshness and water notes. The calone in this is ever present, to the point of it being too dominant. The Baltic sea mist accord is leaving its mark for sure. I can’t really detect the vetiver, it’s overshadowed by the calone. However, the eucalyptus comes alive and gives the heart a menthol type of feel that stays throughout mid. This mid is also supported by the spruce, giving this whole scent a ‘walking through the forest to a sea shore’ vibe. Overall, the calone is too strong for my tastes and holds me back from purchasing a full bottle. Every Storm a Serenade does what it intends to do though.
• Rating - Meh
• Age - 18+

My overall assessment after experiencing these scents:
I think Imaginary Authors accomplished what they set out to do, and that is to create great stories as the backbone of the house and to use these fragrances to transport the user directly into said story. These fragrances evoke such rich backdrops and images that make you feel like you’re there. I can tell that Josh and his team put so much work into this, and it shows. From the design aspects, names of the fragrances, and the scents themselves, each step had a good amount of thought in it. One word that may come to the minds of many who read this would be ‘novelty’. Do I think they are novelties? No, I don’t. Some of these could be worn as a signature scent, and some during certain seasons of the year. They are very wearable scents in my opinion. I don’t think Josh is a master perfumer, but I don’t think he set out to be. I could be totally wrong. What he was able to do, however, was amazing in its own right, and for that, I would totally recommend this indie house to anyone looking for something new to try.

During quarantine, I've had the opportunity to rewatch every movie in relatively short succession. I've seen them all 2-10 times and have been a lifelong Bond fan. I enjoy every Bond film, even the "bad" ones, but I wanted to try and rank them. I used a scoring system to help me, but ultimately went with my gut (e.g. License to Kill MUST be better than The World is Not Enough). I thought a tier system of ranking was useful, because it really is splitting hairs to rank some of these. Feel free to critique my ratings, my ratings weightings, and opinions!
​
You could say I have too much time on my hands
Tier 7: The Worst

1. Die Another Day: Best Sword Fight

- Why it's not irredeemable: For being the lowest ranked film on this list, it's not without its moments. Bond getting caught, tortured, then escaping from MI6 was interesting and novel. The ice hotel was neat, as well as the chase scene. I'll even defend the much maligned invisible car, as the Aston Martin Vanquish is quite a car.
- Why it's not higher: Personally, I think Halle Berry is a terrible Bond girl, alternating between damsel in distress and super woman as the plot demands it. Moreover, Graves and the plot in general is pretty cheesy and boring. Perhaps most damaging is the deadly serious tone of the movie, which doesn't even provide the fun and excitement Brosnan's films generally provide the viewer.
- Most under-appreciated part: The fencing scene is the best action scene of the entire movie. It's surprising it took Bond this long to fence, but seeing them go at it across the club was a blast.
​
Tier 6: Disappointing

1. Quantum of Solace: Best Car Chase

- Why it's this high: The action is quite good, likely meriting the distinction of the best car chase in the entire series (the pre-credits sequence). Mathis is a good ally and it is sad to see him go.
- Why it's not higher: My biggest beef with Craig's Bond films is that they are too serious, so when the plot and script isn't top-notch, the movie watching experience is just kind of dull. Quantum of Solace takes a bold risk in making the first Bond sequel, but unfortunately it's just not that good. Greene seems like a rather pathetic Bond villain, and his henchman (the worst in the series?) ends up in a neck-brace after getting tripped by Camilla. Also, the shaky cam is distracting and exhausting.
- Most under-appreciated part: I actually thing the theme song is pretty good! Maybe I'm just too much of a Jack White groupie, but I think it rocks.
​

1. Moonraker: Best Locales

- Why it's this high: I'm pleased to see Jaws making a return, as he is an amazing henchman. On that note, the pre-credits sequence with Bond and Jaws falling out of the plane is exhilarating. Holly Goodhead is a very good Bond girl, beautiful, smart, and competent. Roger Moore always does an excellent job playing the role with suavity and wit.
- Why it's not higher: Gosh it's cheesy. Particularly egregious is Jaws' love story. The theme song is terrible and Bond doesn't have any solid allies besides Goodhead and Jaws.
- Most under-appreciated part: They really go all out with the settings here. Obviously, space is pretty polarizing, but I think Bond clearly should go to space at SOME point during the series. In addition, Italy and Brazil were gorgeous views, while Drax's estate is magnificent.
​

1. Spectre: Best Shooting

- Why it's this high: Rewatching this for the second time, I realized Lea Seydoux does a good job as the Bond girl, and it's actually quite believable she and James could work out, as she is the daughter of an assassin and can understand him (as Blofeld points out). Seeing Bond show off his marksmanship was quite satisfying, especially that one long shot during the escape from Blofeld's compound. Bonus points for Bond's DB10 and resurrecting the DB5.
- Why it's not higher: The fatal flaw of this film is making Blofeld Bond's adopted brother. How did Bond not recognize him? How is Blofeld able to keep himself secret from British intelligence yet every criminal worth his salt knows of him? The worst part is that it actually cheapens the plot of the other Craig movies. I believe the Bond franchise should stay clear from sequels from here on out. Yes, they can weave a great story if done correctly, but it's so much more difficult to make great sequels (e.g. Star Wars only made two worthy sequels in seven tries) than to do one-offs. As usual for a Craig film, Bond has little charisma (save for his surprisingly good rapport with Moneypenny) and little in the way of jokes to lighten the mood.
- Most under-appreciated part: The train fight scene with Dave Bautista is great! Gosh it was awesome to see them go at it, break through walls, and a priceless expression on Bautista's face when he knows he's done. Bautista is the first decent henchman since the 90s, so glad to see the series go back to this staple.
​

1. The Man with the Golden Gun: Best Potential, Worst Execution

- Why it's this high: This Bond movie frustrates more than any other, as it has the potential to be an all-time great. Bond's debriefing starts off with promise, as it turns out the world's top assassin is gunning for Bond! For the first time in the series, Bond seems vulnerable! M makes a hilarious quip as to who would try to kill Bond ("jealous husbands ... the list is endless"). Furthermore, the legendary Christopher Lee is possible the best Bond villain, a rare peer of 007.
- Why it's not higher: Unfortunately, the movie opts to change course so that it's just Maud Adams trying to get Bond to kill Scaramanga. Goodnight is beautiful, but maybe the most inept Bond girl of all-time. They used a SLIDE WHISTLE, ruining one of the coolest Bond stunts ever (the car jump).
- Most under-appreciated part: Nick Nack is a splendid henchman, showing the role can be more than just a strongman.
​

1. Diamonds Are Forever: Great Beginning and Ending, but Bad Everywhere Else

- Why it's this high: Is there another Bond with such a great contrast between the beginning/ending and everything in between? Connery shows his tough side, as he muscles his way through the pre-credits scene. Particularly good was the part where he seduces the woman, then uses her bikini top to choke her. At the end, Bond expertly uses his wine knowledge to detect something is amiss, then dispatches Kidd and Wint in style. Other cool scenes include Bond scaling the building to reach Blofeld and Bond driving the Mustang through the alley.
- Why it's not higher: This is one of the films that I find myself liking less and less over time. Vegas, and especially the space laboratory scene, just seem cheesy. Connery is officially too old at this point, and Jill St. John just isn't a very compelling Bond girl. I would've preferred to have seen more of Plenty O'Toole, but alas 'twas not meant to be. Leiter is uninspired as well. Having Bond go after Blofeld for the millionth time just seems tired at this point.
- Most under-appreciated part: Mr. Kidd and Wint are the creepiest henchmen in the Bond universe, but I'd argue they are some of the best. Their banter and creative modes of execution are quite chilling and thrilling.
​

1. A View to a Kill: Best Theme

- Why it's this high: Is it a hot take to not have View in the bottom five? Let me explain. I contend Duran Duran's theme is the very best. The ending fight scene on the Golden Gate Bridge is actually one of the most iconic ending set pieces in the series. The plot is stellar on paper, as the horse racing part was a very Bondian side story, and the idea of an attack on Silicon Valley actually seems even more plausible today.
- Why it's not higher: It's self-evident that Moore is way too old for the part. Some parts are just mind-blowingly ridiculous, such as the fire truck chase scene through San Francisco and the part where Stacey is caught unaware by a blimp behind her. Speaking of Stacey, she may be beautiful, but she spends most of the movie shrieking whenever something goes wrong.
- Most under-appreciated part: The scene with Bond and Ivanova is cool (I always like it when he interacts with other spies) and quite entertaining how he fools her with the cassettes.
​
Tier 5: Below Average

1. Octopussy: The Most Characteristically Roger Moore Bond Film

- Why it's this high: Maud Adams has great screen presence as Octopussy, and her Amazonian-like women are cool to watch fight. Bond's deft swipe of the egg was nicely done. On a related aside, I wish Bond films would emphasize Bond's intellect more, as it seems the 60s and 70s films would allow Bond to showcase his vast knowledge more frequently than he does today. Gobinda is a fierce henchman, while India in general is a cool location. The plot is realistic, yet grand (war-mongering Russian general tries to detonate a nuke to get NATO to turn on itself).
- Why it's not higher: This is the first Moore film where he simply was too old and shouldn't have been cast. Yes, it's too cheesy at times, most infamously during the Tarzan yell. Bond also doesn't use any cool vehicles.
- Most under-appreciated part: People tend to focus too much on Bond dressing as a clown, but the scene where Bond furiously tries to get to the bomb in time to defuse it is one of the tensest moments in the series. Moore's "Dammit there's a bomb in there!" really demonstrated the gravity of the situation (I get goosebumps during that part).
​

1. Tomorrow Never Dies: Most Tasteful Humor

- Why it's this high: Brosnan really settles into the role well here. He gives the most charismatic Bond performance in 15 years or so. His quip "I'm just here at Oxford, brushing up on a little Danish" is an all-time great Bond line. Teri Hatcher is stunning as Paris Carver, delivering a memorable performance with her limited screen time. The plot is original and ages well, highlighting the potential downsides of media power, while Carver is an above average villain.
- Why it's not higher: Wai Lin is good for action, but the chemistry between her and Bond is non-existent. By the end of the movie, Pryce just seem silly (especially the scene where he mocks Wai Lin's martial arts skills). There aren't any good Bond allies, as Jack Wade doesn't impress in his return to the franchise. In general though, the movie has few things terribly wrong with it, it just doesn't excel in many ways.
- Most under-appreciated part: Dr. Kaufman is hysterical. At first, I thought "this is weird," but by the end of the scene I'm cracking up. I genuinely wish they found someway to bring him back for World, but c'est la vie.
​

1. The World Is Not Enough: Less than the Sum of its Parts

- Why it's this high: According to my spreadsheet, this is a top 10 Bond film, while on my first watch on this film I thought it was bottom five. I think the truth is that it's somewhere in between. I like the settings, everything from the temporary MI-6 headquarters to Azerbaijan. Elektra is an all-time great Bond girl, with a nice plot twist and character arc. The glasses where Bond sees through women's clothing are hilarious. The sense of danger is strong, with everyone from Bond to M being in danger. The return of Zukovsky is a nice plus.
- Why it's not higher: I think two things really doom this film. First, Renard is totally wasted a henchman. The idea of him not feeling pain is a cool one, but he just seems boring and extraneous. I don't even think Carlyle acted poorly, he was just misused. Secondly, the ending (after Bond killing Elektra which is quite good) is rather terrible. The whole scene in the sub just isn't entertaining or engaging.
- Most under-appreciated part: I'm going to defend Denise Richards as Christmas Jones. Although no Ursula Andress, Richards is absolutely gorgeous and did not actively make Bond's mission more difficult, which is more than some Bond girls can say *cough Britt Ekland. In particular, I found her introductory scene to be quite memorable and convincing. Also, the Christmas quip at the end is quite cheeky.
​
Tier 4: Solid

1. The Living Daylights:

- Why it's this high: Dalton brings a breath of fresh air to the franchise here. His more serious take makes for interesting movies that seem more unique than most. I'm happy to see this subreddit appreciate Dalton more than the casual fun does, but I wouldn't go as far as the Dalton fanboys and say he's the best Bond or anything like that. I do wish he got the role sooner and did more films. Moving on to Daylights, it's got a good intro for Dalton and good plot in general. Surprisingly, Bond's fidelity doesn't bother me one bit, as it actually makes sense that Kara falls in love with James by the end, given all they've gone through.
- Why it's not higher: The biggest reason is that the villain is just terrible. Whitaker seems silly and pathetic, a terrible contrast to Dalton's serious nature. I think Whitaker might be the worst in the series, and a Bond movie can't be great without a good villain. Also, Dalton doesn't have much charm and is abysmal at one-liners, which, in my opinion, IS a facet of the perfect James Bond.
- Most under-appreciated part: The Aston Martin Vantage is a beautiful car, and the chase scene across the ice is great! It's both exciting and funny! Not sure why people don't talk about this chase scene and this car more; it's arguably the highlight of the movie for me.
​

1. Thunderball: The Most Beautiful

- Why it's this high: Thunderball used to be top five for me and here is why. The underwater scenes, the setting, the score, and the Bond girls are beautiful even to this day. Domino is excellent, while Volpe is a tour de force, oozing sexuality and danger. I think the underwater parts are interesting and novel, creating a staple of sorts for the franchise. The DB 5 is always welcome, and the jetpack use was quite cool for the time (and to some extent now).
- Why it's not higher: Some would say it's boring, while I would more generously admit the plot is slow. Furthermore, the theme song is all-time bad (apparently they could have used Johnny Cash!!!), and there is no great henchman for Bond to dispatch.
- Most under-appreciated part: Two plot ideas I liked a lot: Bond being injured and needing rehab, plus the part where all the 00s meet up and then are sent to the corners of the globe.
​

1. Never Say Never Again: Guilty Pleasure

- Why it's this high: Rewatching Never for the third time, I was struck by how fun this movie is. It's exciting, funny, and fast-paced. Basically, it's a more exciting version of Thunderball, with better pacing and better humor. I think Irvin Kershner did a great job managing this star studded cast. Carrera is a firecracker as Blush, Sydow is a convincing Blofeld, and Basinger is a classic Bond girl. Connery clearly has a blast returning to the role, doing a great job despite his advanced age. If anything, this one might not be ranked high enough.
- Why it's not higher: The music is terrible. Normally I don't notice these things, but one can't help but notice how dreadful this one is. The theme is awful as well. I'd argue this is the worst music of any Bond film.
- Most under-appreciated part: The humor! This is one of the funniest Bonds, as I found myself laughing out loud at various parts (e.g. Mr Bean!).
​

1. The Spy Who Loved Me: Best Intro

- Why it's this high: There's a lot to love about this one, so I get why this ranks highly for many. It is simply the best introduction, starting with Bond romancing a woman, followed by a skii chase, then jumping off the cliff and pulling the Union Jack parachute! The Lotus is a top 3 Bond car. Jaws is a superb henchman. Triple X was an excellent Bond girl, deadly, charming, and beautiful. Of course, Moore is charming and the locations are exotic (Egypt was a cool locale). If I had to pick one Moore movie for a newcomer to watch, it would be this one.
- Why it's not higher: The theme song is bad, and Stromberg is a below average villain. I also think the last 45 minutes or so of the movie kind of drags.
- Most under-appreciated part: The whole dynamic between Bond and Triple X is great. Whenever Bond movies show Bond squaring off against other spies (see View to a Kill, Goldeneye) it's just a pleasure to watch.
​

1. Live and Let Die: Most Suave

- Why it's this high: Roger Moore superbly carves out his own take on Bond in an excellent addition to the franchise. The boat chase is my favorite in the series, and Live and Let Die is my second favorite theme. Jane Seymour is a good Bond girl, while Tee Hee and Kananga are a solid villain/henchman duo. Unpopular opinion: I find J.W. Pepper to be hilarious.
- Why it's not higher: The introduction isn't very good, as Bond isn't even included! The second climax with the voodoo isn't great. Bond blowing up Kananga has aged terribly.
- Most under-appreciated part: When Bond is visited in his apartment by M and Moneypenny, Bond rushes to hide his girl from his coworkers. Finally, when they leave and he unzips the dress with his magnetic watch is one of the best uses of a Bond gadget in the series, showcasing why Moore might be the most charming Bond of them all.
​

1. You Only Live Twice: Best Blofeld

- Why it's this high: Just your classic, fun Sean Connery Bond movie. It was a great decision to send Bond to Japan for his first Asian visit, giving the movie a fresh feel. The ending set piece battle is potentially the best of this staple of 60s/70s Bonds. Tiger Tanaka is one of Bond's cooler allies. Pleasance killed it as Blofeld; when I think of Blofeld, I think of his take. In what could have been cheesy, he is actually somewhat frightening.
- Why it's not higher: The whole "we need to make you look Japanese" part seems both unrealistic (who is he really fooling?) plus surprisingly impotent coming from Tiger Tanaka who seems to be a competent and connected man otherwise. Honestly though, this movie doesn't have a major weakness.
- Most under-appreciated part: The fight scene with the guard in the executive's office is probably the best hand-to-hand fight in the series up until that point.
​
Tier 3: Excellent

1. Dr. No: The Most Spy-Like

- Why it's this high: Nearly 60 years later, this film is still a blast to watch, due in no small part to its focus on the little things of being a spy. I adore the scenes where Bond does the little things spies (presumably) do, such as putting a hair across the door, or showing Bond playing solitaire while waiting to spring his trap on Prof. Dent. I also enjoy the suspense of Bond sleuthing around the island, while he and the viewer are completely unaware of whom the villain is until quite late in the film. It's easy to take for granted now, but this film established so many series traditions that were ingenious. My personal favorite is Bond's introduction at the card table: "Bond .... James Bond."
- Why it's not higher: The film just doesn't have the payoff it deserves. Maybe it's just a result of the time and budget, but from the point Bond escapes on, it's just mediocre. Particularly egregious is the "fight" between Dr. No and Bond where No meets his demise.
- Most under-appreciated part: Ursula Andress was a surprisingly well developed Bond girl, with a shockingly violent backstory (she was raped!). Obviously, she is beautiful and the beach scene is iconic, but I was pleasantly surprised to conclude she is more than just eye candy.
​

1. License to Kill: The Grittiest

- Why it's this high: On my first watch, this was my least favorite Bond film, as I thought it was too dark and violent to befit 007. By my third time watching, I've decided it's actually one of the best. Fortunately, I don't have to go on my "Ackshually, Dalton did a good job" rant with this subreddit. I liked the wedding intro and the concept of a revenge arc for Leiter (although come on he should've been killed by a freaking shark). Also, Lamora and (especially) Bouvier are great Bond girls. Bouvier is both competent and beautiful, and it's great to see Bond choose her at the end.
- Why it's not higher: The theme song is atrocious, Dalton is so angry (dare I say charmless?) the whole time it's almost puzzling why Bouvier and Lamora fall for him, and Bond doesn't use any cool vehicles.
- Most under-appreciated part: Sanchez is actually a sneaky good Bond villain.
​

1. For Your Eyes Only: The Most Underrated

- Why it's this high: I think Moore is a bit underrated as Bond. Yes, he was too old towards the end and yes, his movies were at times too campy, but he himself played the role admirably. He was the most charming and witty of all the Bonds, so by the time he got his first relatively serious plot to work with, he hit it out of the park. Anyhow, the climactic mountaintop assault is one of my favorite Bond action climaxes. Columbo is one of the best Bond allies, and the plot twist where he turns out to be good and Kristatos bad was well-done.
- Why it's not higher: The intro is just silly. Bibi's romantic infatuation with Bond is just ...er... uncomfortable?
- Most under-appreciated part: The theme song is a banger. What a chorus!
​
Tier 2: Exceptional

1. Skyfall: The Sharpest Film (From Plot to Aesthetics)

- Why it's this high: One of the best plots of the entire series. The idea of an older Bond who had lost a step, along with making M the focus point of the movie, works very well. Seeing Bond's childhood home is also pretty cool. Bardem's take on Silva is delightful and a lot of fun to watch. Even the cinematography is a series peak, while Adele's them is excellent.
- Why it's not higher: One thing most Craig Bond films suffer from is the lack of a Bond-worthy henchman. Skyfall is no exception. More importantly, Bond girls are mostly irrelevant to the film. Yes, Severine is both beautiful and interesting, but she's scarcely twenty minutes of the film.
- Most under-appreciated part: Setting the new supporting characters up nicely. The Moneypenny backstory was well-done. Casting Ralph Fiennes as the new M is a great choice in of itself, but he also got a nice chuck of background story to help us going forward.
​

1. Casino Royale: The First Bond Film I'd Show a Series Newcomer

- Why it's this high: Craig's take on Bond feels like a breath of fresh air. In particular, his hand-to-hand combat scenes are so much better (and more believable) than any other Bond. The parkour chase scene is one of the best chase scenes in the series. Le Chifre is an excellent villain, but, more importantly, Vesper is an all-time great Bond girl. The conversation between Vesper and Bond on the train is probably the most interesting of any film. Bonus points for Jeffrey Wright as Leiter and the Aston Martin DBS.
- Why it's not higher: There are hardly any humorous parts or much charm displayed by Bond in general. More importantly, the movie should have just ended when Bond wakes up in rehab. The rest of the movie feels confused and superfluous.
- Most under-appreciated part: The decision to change from chemin de fer to poker makes for much better (and understandable!) cinema. The poker scenes are the best of Bond's many gambling scenes throughout the series.
​

1. Goldeneye: The Most Fun

- Why it's this high: Wow, rewatching Goldeneye I was struck by how entertaining the whole thing is. The opening jump is breath taking, the scene where Bond drives his evaluator around is hilarious, and Xenia Onatopp is a livewire. Sean Bean is a formidable villain as 006, and a great foil to James. Bond and Judi Dench's first scene together is amazing. Goldeneye feels like the first modern Bond, yet so true to the predecessors. Wade and especially Zukovsky are excellent allies.
- Why it's not higher: Simonova is a forgettable Bond girl. She's not annoying, unattractive, or acted poorly, but is just below average in most regards (looks, back story, chemistry with Bond, plot).
- Most under-appreciated part: the action is just so much better than any Bond before it
​

1. From Russia with Love: The Best Henchman (Red Grant)

- Why it's this high: Interesting settings, beautiful women, and an engaging story make this a classic. I'm not the first to point out that the scenes with Grant and Bond aboard the train are some of the best in the entire series. Grant is one of the few villains who feels like a match for 007. Furthermore, the addition of Desmond Llewyn as Q was crucial and Kerim Bey is one of the better Bond allies.
- Why it's not higher: The helicopter scene should've just been omitted, especially when combined with the subsequent boat chase. It's just awkward to watch.
- Most under-appreciated part: The gypsy scenes are quite exotic and entertaining.
​

1. On Her Majesty's Secret Service: The Most Heartfelt

- Why it's this high: James and Tracy's love story is charming, and when she dies at the end, this is the one and only time in the entire series where the viewer feels genuinely sad. Diana Rigg did an excellent job convincing the audience Bond could finally fall in love with one girl. The skiing scenes were beautifully filmed, and the score was exemplary. Personally, I quite liked Lazenby's take; however, some of his lines and jokes fall flat. To his credit, he looks and acts like Bond more than any other actor.
- Why it's not higher: Honestly, it does drag at times in the first half, plus there is no theme song!
- Most under-appreciated part: Bond's Aston Martin DBS is a beautiful car, combining 60's sports-car beauty with Aston Martin's elegance.
​
Tier 1: The Best

1. Goldfinger: The quintessential Bond

- Why it's this high: From the opening ("Positively shocking") to the seduction of Pussy Galore at the end, this film has it all. Goldfinger is an all time great villain, while Odd Job is an exceptional henchman. Connery delivers a master performance, and drives THE classic Bond Car, ejector seat included. The reason I put it #1 is not necessarily because it is the best film (although it is great), it checks all the boxes of what a perfect Bond film should do.
- Why it's not higher: I cannot think of any notable imperfections.
- Most under-appreciated part: The golf scene between Bond and Goldfinger is a delight to watch, demonstrating Bond's wits for the first and only time on the golf course.