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OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Giving thanks edition: Kickin’ around Caracas, Pt. 5

Continuing… (It's Part 6 in the saga, I fucked up. Sorry.)
So, after a few re-fueling and impromptu cigar-purchasing stops in South and Central America, we wheel up to the deserted jetway at LAX.
“Thought we were going to Elmendorf?” I asked.
“This isn’t it?” the pilot replied, feigning worry.
“No.”, I replied, “Looks like California. Fruits and nuts. All around. What’s going on? One minute we’re off to Texas, then Cali, then Texas again, now we end up here at the California airport of the iconic tower.”
“Yeah, it’s confusing enough haulin’ civilians around. But when we get a call from Virginia, we tend to comply without any questions,” the pilot explains.
“Aw, shit!”, I sort of exclaim, “Rack and Ruin called?”
“Yeah”, the pilot replies, “Figures you’d know these guys. They said they were closer to LAX rather than Texas and had us divert here. In fact, you look over there, see that dark blue Chevy? That’s them; and evidently, your ride.”
I tipped the airman from earlier a couple of cigars as he helped me with my gear off the plane and into the trunk of Rack and Ruin’s plain-Jane blue late modeled Chevy. Had to move the Sidewinder Missiles off to one side, though.
“Most honorable Agents Lack and Luin!” I quipped in my faux-racist greeting. “What the hell, guys? I’ve got to get to Japan and get some newly rigidified digits.”
“Let’s see your hand”, Agent Rack asks. “Nasty.”
“Yeah”, I sigh “And with the medicos in South America and their penchant for plaster, I don’t so much have a left hand as more of an ankylosaur tail.”
“Or Thagomizer”, Agent Ruin tittered. “Anyone gives you grief, and one upside the head should set them right. Or dead.”
“You’re a riot, Ruin.” I replied, “But not entirely incorrect.”
We all agreed that I really didn’t need any extra accouterments to make myself look more dangerous. I mean with my severe haircut, stern beard clip, and perpetual ‘Go fuck yourself’ scowl.
“Yeah”, I replied, stroking the aforementioned beard, “I just can’t get that. I’m such a people person.”
After Agents Rack and Ruin finished drying their eyes from laughing what I thought was en extremis, we finally got down to business.
“So, what’s the skinny, guys”, I asked. “New marching orders?”
“No. Not as such”, Agent Ruin said, still sniggering over my ‘people person’ comment.
I see we’re moving. Agent Rack is just driving casually, like Chewbacca when they were waiting to see if the Empire went for that expensive Bothan code.
“Then, what?” I asked, getting a slight bit piqued.
“Well”, Agent Ruin noted, “When you went to South America, you took some of your artillery collection with, correct?”
“You know I did. You even made some snide comments about my personal choice of sidearms and their ‘excessive’ calibers, if memory serves”, I reiterated.
“And if you are proceeding normally, as you always do, they’re all nestled in the trunk of this very car. All cleaned, quiet, unloaded, and smelling sweetly of Hoppe’s Number 9 and WD 40, correct?” Rack inquired.
“Yes?” I cautiously venture.
“Well, ya’ big dummy, do you think they’re going to let you saunter into Tokyo armed like the Third Fleet?” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Um…well…I do have a Diplomatic Passport.” I ventured.
“That’s not going to work this time.”, Agent Ruin said, shaking his head. “They’re tighter than Dick’s Hatband about sidearms. Want to bring in your Rigby SXS .500 Nitro Express double rifle? Not a problem. Sidearms, especially in your alien hunting calibers, nope.”
Well, that’s just….*dandy!”, I reply, semi-put out. “Now what the hell am I going to do?”
“Ever think that’s why Ruin and I are here, now?”, Rack asks.
“And here I thought it was just so you could bask in the warm glow of my fucking wonderful personality. Or that you actually cared about me as a real goddamn human”, I joshed.
“Ummm…yeah”, Rack replies, “There’s no way we can answer that without going on some Deadpool list. “
I agreed.
“OK, here’s the deal: you get your sidearms, ammunition, speed loaders, brass knuckles, Asp, laser range finders, Sap, Zeiss scopes, Kukri, Wisconsin Cheese Whittler, Buck folding skinner, Marine K-Bar, those two ultra-illegal Cheburkov Cobra titanium switchblades...”
“Three. Olga the KGB lady sent me one for Geologist’s Day.”
“Ahem. Those three ultra-illegal Cheburkov switchblades, that Wyoming Speedholer, your MASER Time-Distance Computer, garrote, pocket rail gun and whatever else lethal you carry and deposit it in the iron box in the trunk. We’ll ensure that it’s delivered to Esme post-haste. And by post-haste I mean one of our guys will deliver it personally.”
“Well…I suppose”, I conceded, “But best send someone who’s been to the house recently. I don’t know how much bigger Khan has grown since I left on this little fantasy trip. Wouldn’t want a star on the wall in Langley for someone eaten by a mastiff. Want to see a picture….Oh, bother. That’s right. My phone’s at the bottom of fucking Lake Maracaibo.”
“Good point”, Ruin interjects, “Guess we’ll do a little road trip and deliver it ourselves. Best call Esme and let her know what’s going on.”
“I have no objections to your proposals. Please give Esme this when you see her. I had some luck in the Calaveras Casino and if I don’t send her some mad money. Ouch. She’ll never forgive me for not taking her along to Japan.” I asked.
“But I thought Esme hated Japan? Too crowded and too ‘fussy’, I believe was her estimation.” Ruin asked.
“Yes, but once she saw the Ginza, all bets were off. Shopping the likes of which even Allah himself hasn’t seen.” I replied, slowly shaking my head.
“I see”, Ruin said, “Well, since you’re off to Sapporo, perhaps you can do a recon for Esme on the shopping there.”
“Not bad. Not bad at all.”, I smiled, “Now I know why I let you guys hang around with me.”
So, as advertised, I am now standing on the tarmac at LAX, basically feeling naked.
“Can’t I keep just one switchblade?” I moaned to Agent Rack.
“Go ahead, if you’re really keen on donating it to Japanese customs”, he replied.
“Fuckbuckets.” I groused.
“There, there now. That’s the usual Dr. Rocknocker of which we’re all so fond.” Agent Ruin chuckled.
“Remember, you do have that wallet-sized credit card gizmo from the Company. So you’re not entirely ‘naked’. Think of it as an emergency breechcloth.” He smiled.
“I’d like a larger model if you don’t mind. It’s chilly out here.” I joshed.
After Agents Rack and Ruin stripped me metaphorically naked as they de-weaponized me, they handed me a Business Class ticket to Tokyo, and a pass to the Japan Airlines Hospitality Suite and Lounge.
“So sorry you guys can’t hang around and have a few farewell snorts”, I chided, “But you’ve got a bit of a drive, so best be off before the weather turns to shit.”
“Who says we’re driving?” Agent Rack asked as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder at the ready and waiting C-130 cargo plane currently taxiing slowly in our direction.
“Well, in that case”, I smiled even more broadly, “Let’s invite the flight crew to join us. That’ll make the flight home all that much more interesting.”
After near tear-jerking farewell sentimentalities, i.e., “Piss on you”, “Get stuffed” and “Take a fuckin’ hike”; Agents Rack and Ruin, my weapons and the Agency’s plain-Jane Blue Chevy were all nestled snugger than buggers in ruggers in the belly of the thundering C-130.
Now truly on my own, I trudge the hundred thousand or so centisteps to my departure terminal, make a quick recon that my flight’s still slated to go in a generally westward direction, and hightail it to the nearest courtesy desk to ask for a motorized cart to take me and my remaining luggage to the JAL Hospitality Suite.
Hey. I’m old, infirm, and currently among the walking wounded.
Anyone that disagrees risks an Ankylosaur tail club swat or Thagomizer to the skull.
Finally ensconced in the JAL Hospitality Suite, Polo Lounge of course; I was drinking Tokyo Teas (3 oz. vodka, 2 oz. gin, 2 oz. rum, 1 oz. triple sec, 1 oz. Midori, good splash of lime juice, a slight splash of 7-Up (diet, of course), over ice with a lime wheel) with Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra 1844 chasers and Hangar One’s “Fog Point” vodka on the side, hiding from the brutish realities of this foul year of two thousand and twenty-something, Common Era…
I’ve already called Esme and we’ve had a good, long chat. She still managed to give me her shopping list for whenever I find myself bored on the Ginza.
She’ll be shocked when she learns that I’m not going to be in Tokyo long, but have 1st class tickets on the Bullet Train to Sapporo. Still, I’ll probably find myself in Pole Town or the Stellar Place there, trading piles of US greenbacks for locally produced Japanese curios and clothing.
I can hardly wait.
I order another round of drinks, as the wonderful attendants in the Hospitality Suite were bored out of their skulls because of the COVID-induced drop-in customers flying anywhere that requires a hospitality room stay, and I was virtually the only one around. They tried their level best to outdo each other when it comes to Japanese efficiency and friendliness.
After a couple of hours, they ask if I would like something from the grill, as the day chef had “the COVID” and the night chef just arrived. A quick perusal of the menu and I chose a 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse and another round of drinks.
I usually don’t like to eat too much before I fly, but JAL tells me the flight is going to be virtually empty, something like <121 pax, all told, so restroom availability shouldn’t be too much of a concern.
Plus, who am I to say no to a free, blue 28-ounce dry-aged Porterhouse?
There was a bit of difficulty conveying to the chef through the intermediaries of the hospitality just how I wanted my steak.
“Blue,” I said.
“Brue?” was the reply.
“Rare. Very, very rare.” I continued.
Look of total bewilderment.
I drag out my Personal Language Pro, speak “Steak, very, very rate” into the infernal gizmo, and hand the contraption to the attendant.
“珍しい、非常に珍しいステーキ?”[ Mezurashī, hijō ni mezurashī sutēki?]
“Raw! Nama!” I say, louder than need be.
They toddle off to find the chef.
“How is it sir, that you would like your steak cooked?” he asks.
“Very rare. Just a minute or two per side. Inside still cold.” I instructed.
All I got for the trouble was a puzzled smile.
“Give me the language gizmo…” I type in a few words…
“お尻を洗い、角をノックオフして、ここから出してください”
[O shiri o arai,-kaku o nokkuofu shite, koko kara dashite kudasai.]
“Wash its ass, knock its horns off, and walk it out here.”
“OH!” as the lightbulb pops. “Rare. Got it! Excellent!” the chef laughs and zips back to the kitchen.
Like I always say, I’m nothing if not the international ambassador of amity and goodwill.
“Crack tubes!”
Dinner was fantastic. I do wish I could have somehow mailed the Porterhouse bone back home for Khan. After that hambone incident, he might even taste it.
Finally on the plane, in an almost empty Business Class, the flight captain informs us that we’re headed to Haneda Airport Tokyo and anyone not headed in that direction better ‘haul ass off’ the flight or forever hold their peace.
Late-night international flights tend to be a bit more wooly than your average Chicago to Omaha gig.
Especially when the flight’s damn near empty and we have the next 12 hours or so to be best friends.
We taxi, turn and head into the wind. I’m doctoring up a couple of dossiers and keeping my personal cabin attendant, Luna since there were two of us in Business and two business flight attendants, busy with her trying to play ‘Stump the Geologist’.
“I’ll bet you never had this before.” She beamed and handed me a tumbler of very dangerous-looking brown liquor.
I cautiously sniff, take a modest gulp, swirl and glug the rest down.
“Ohishi Single Sherry Cask”, I say with a muffled belch. “Light. Fruity. An Englishman’s drink.”
“Oh. You knew. Let me try again.” She smiles beatifically.
“I have no objections to your proposal.” I smile as nicely as this crotchety old Komodo Dragon could.
She returns with another flagon of spirits; it smells of obsidian, leather, and earth.
I just had some of this back in LAX. I take a snort, smile, and shotgun the rest.
“Hibiki Japanese Harmony…lovely stuff.” I smile. “A little light for my jaded palate, but I’d never turn it down if it were free.”
“Oh, you win again. Wait. One more.” She smiles and skitters off to the galley.
She returns with another soupçon of some more dangerous brown liquor.
“Here, try this. It will make you very popular at social gatherings”. She smiles.
Sniff. “Splendid.” Snort. Swirl. Smile. Shotgun.
“Kanosuke New Born, if I’m not mistaken.” I smile back. “Very nice. I really do like this one.”
“You too good at this. One more!” she stands and stomps off defiantly. She returns in a trice and hands me the glass.
“Hmm…brown. Light notes of earth, leather, dating your daughter, and Kentucky…
“Beam Suntory, right?”
“You know them all!” she says, feigning irritation.
“And I thank you. Those were all excellent. Now, anything in the dangerous clear liquor category? I asked.
Luna smiled as I palmed off a 20k yen tip.
“Oh, no sir. Wait until we land.” She demurred, referring to the gratuity; which is know is not de rigueur in the Orient, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Just in case we never make it to Tokyo”, I laughed, unknowingly presciently.
We both chuckled about that last line as she tried out various sakes and shōchūs and an actual Japanese ‘White Liquor’ (ホワイトリカー), which were all excellent as was the company.
I tell her that I need to get some work done and could she bring me a tall Rocknocker. After explain the origins and construction of the eponymous drink, she brings me one that must tip the scales at 1 or so liters.
She settles down to an empty seat and I get after the work that I need to finish before we land. I’m about ½ way through my drink when it felt as if the plane hit a brick wall. She quivered and quaked and clutched at herself while I made some comments about the pilot’s mental health.
We dropped like a paralyzed falcon, then just as suddenly, felt like it was an express elevator to Angel’s 11. The plane bucked and shimmied, wickedly. Then we slam-danced right and fell a few more stories. It was like we were in a Mixmaster and the owner was trying out every speed.
The emergency lights in the 777-300ER popped on, and the fasten seat belt sign barked loudly so even sleeping travelers could enjoy the show.
Rinse. Spin. Shudder. Repeat.
Finally, the ride smooths out and we hear the captain on the blower.
“This is your captain speaking…ah, we seem to have hit some uncharted turbulence back there.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious”, I muttered.
“Everything’s A-OK. “ he reports.
“That’s good”, I note.
“But…”
“There’s always the but…” I groan.
“…we have a couple of warning lights for which we can’t quite account. So to just be safe and certain, we’re going to divert to Hawaii, get a clean bill of health and resume this flight once we make sure everything here is hunky-dory.”
There were scattered groans and applause. Add them together and divide by two and the average response on the flight was “Meh. Whatever.”
Except for the other guy in Business, with whom I hadn’t shared two words. He began to absolutely lose his shit.
“Oh, man! We’re so screwed! Mechanical malfunction? What does that mean?” he positively fizzed with fear.
The flight attendants tried to calm him down, to no avail. They basically gave up and said they’d report his misgivings to the Captain.
I motioned over to my personal flight attendant, Luna, and asked if I could be of service.
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled at me, “If you could speak with him. You are so calm, and he is…”
“Losing his bloody mind”, I chuckled as I finished her sentence for her. “Of course, I’ll take a stab at it.”
So, I grab my drink and ease over to my Business Class partner and introduce myself.
“Hey, pal. How’s it going? I’m Dr. Rock, gentleman, scholar, and connoisseur of cigars and things alcoholic. You doing OK?”
He looks at me with an ashen face and his eyes the size of bloodshot dinner plates.
“Yeah. I’m Todd Schotts. I’m flying to Japan for business.” He mumbles
“No surprise there,” I reply calmly and take a slug of my drink.
“But now we’re all going to die. The plane is busted and we’ll crash…” he started off again.
“So, Todd is it? Good. You drink?” I asked.
“Yeah?”, he stammered back.
I asked Luna to make us a fresh batch of my eponymous cocktails.
“OK, Todd, listen up”, I began after the drinks were served, “I have flown literally millions of miles over the last 4 decades. On Aeroflot when it was still the USSR. On TACA (Take A Chance Airways), on Chalk’s in the Caribbean, on Bob’s Verrifast Plane Company in Rhodesia, on regional carriers that don’t even exist anymore. All over the world. Had some bad experiences flying, and me ol’ mugger, this ain’t one of them. This is nothing more than the glitch for this mission.”
I chuckled lightly and complimented Luna on a fantastic drink.
“Yeah…yeah…yeah…but we have to land and check out some lights…” Todd squealed.
“Well now, Todd. It would be rather difficult to do any external assessment while in flight, don’t you agree?” I asked.
“But we’re diverting. We have to land and that adds more risk. We’re going to crash and die!” he was coming more and more unglued.
“I will bet you every cent you have on your person and home bank accounts that that will not happen”, I chuckled.
That took him by surprise. At least it shut him up for a while.
“Look, Todd. This is Boeing’s latest model. They have the most incredible safety record. And if a little clear air turbulence were to be knocking planes out of the sky, don’t you think we’d hear about it as the press went berserk?” I asked.
“But they don’t know what the lights mean! What if one of the engines’s out? How far can we fly on one engine?” Todd stuttered.
Having my fill of a supposedly grown man with inane childlike fears, I calmly replied,
“All the way to the crash site.”
He went white.
“...hope we hit something hard. I don’t want to limp away from this.”
He went limp.
Then I went to my seat and motioned for Luna to prepare a reload.
Of course, 45 minutes later, we land without incident at Daniel K. Inouye International Airport, Honolulu Hawaii.
We were told to just wait around until they figure out what the problem if any, was.
They had officials waiting at the end of the jetway to check our COVID status and passports before they let us loose in the terminal.
I asked Luna if she knew this airport. She noted that she did.
“Is there a JAL hospitality room here at this airport? I asked.
“Yes, Doctor. It’s the Sakura Lounge. It is located on the third level above The Local, Terminal 2.” She replied.
“Please notify whoever needs to know that that’s where I’ll be for the duration”, I smiled and handed her my business card. “See you soon, I hope.”
“Oh, Dr. Rock”, she replied, “I am sure it is nothing much. We’ll be back in the air within mere hours.”
“Well then”, I smiled, “Guess I’d better get ready to hoof it to the lounge.”
“Oh, Doctor Rock”, she smiled, “No rush. I will call for you a courtesy cart. You are injured, you are Business, you are priority.”
“I love that Asian efficiency.” I smiled back and toddled down the jetway.
At the terminus of the jetway, I show my COVID-clear papers, dates and times of my Anti-Virus vaccine administrations, the letter from Virginia clearing me of all detention, and my red Russian diplomatic passport.
While in the cart, whizzing our way to the JAL lounge, the driver said “Man! You must be some kind of VIP. You were through that welcoming committee in less than two minutes!”
“Me? Nah!”, I chuckled, “Just an old phart of a geologist that they didn’t want to mess with. Not on such a bright, sunny day as this.”
“I see you’re not wearing a mask.” The driver quipped.
“Very observant. There are reasons for that.” I replied.
He careens around a corner and if this were a normal pre-Covid day, I’m certain we’d have killed hundreds. However, the airport, as I’ve come to grow accustomed to, was virtually deserted.
“Yeah? Like what?” he asks.
“Well, Scooter, 1. I have an active and hardworking immune system that I let off the chain every once in a while for exercise. Got to let it know what it’s up against, right? 2. I’ve had all my shots and some that were experimental. They seem to have worked. And 3. I find it difficult to drink and smoke cigars while wearing a mask. However, if you’d prefer, I will mask up. No problem, though it still is optional.”
“Nah, man”, he said, “I was just wondering if you were one of those religious idiots or conspiracy nuts.”
Nope”, I smiled back, “Just another geologist out in the world plying his trade for cash. Y’know, whorin’ around for money.”
He laughs aloud as we skid to a stop right in front of Lounge.
I slip the guy a $20 and ask if he’d listen for the JAL flight I was just on. If we’re going on ahead today, I’d need him to scoot by and putt-putt me back to the plane.
He laughs and pockets the $20 as quick as a mink ruts.
“No worries. I’ll just hang around this area. I hear anything about the flight, I’ll come and let you know.” He grins.
“Good man”, I say, as I hand him my card. “I’m Dr. Rocknocker. Call me Rock”.
“And I’m Kapula Mano, call me Kap” he replies.
“Good man”, I say again, “Hope to see you in a while.”
He grins, floors his electric cart, and peels out at speeds approaching 4.5 MPH.
I wander into the lounge, show my credentials, and am escorted to a post up on Mahogany Ridge.
The bar is very quiet. Besides the bartender, I can’t see anyone else in the darkened and Smooth Jazz-infused drinking emporium.
I order a local drink, a Mai Tai, just for the experience and something a bit different.
It’s served in a goldfish bowl on a stem, bedecked with a slice of lime, a sprig of mint, a stick of sugar cane, a polychromatic orchid, and the obligate paper umbrella.
“Ah. Mai Tai. I will enjoy it.” I said to no one in particular.
One was enough, and I decided to go back to the old standard. Once I explained to the bartender what that was, he made them heroic and enthusiastically.
I’m reading up on a random dossier, making notes in a new file, and puffing away on a Fuentes Onyx double Maduro Churchill cigar.
I hear a slight cough coming from my right, and this here lovely lady, she sat to my immediate starboard and looked at me semi-quizzically.
Not in the mood for shenanigans of any stripe, I give her the obligate Baja Canada nod and tilt of the drink. I return to my dossiers and continue to read and take notes.
“Excuse me!” I hear.
Fearing the worst, either the woman is Karen-oid anti-smoking or a religious fruit-and-nutburger, I slowly turn to face her and reply, somewhat glacially, I have to admit.
“What?”
“That cigar…”
“Here we go…” I mutter, eyes rolling northward.
“Smells exquisite. Could you tell me the brand? My husband would enjoy some like that.” She notes.
Instantly my demeanor switches 1800.
“Yes, ma’am. It’s an Arturo Fuentes Onyx. Churchill size, or 60 ring x 7” length, double Maduro. Here, take one for your husband. I have an ample supply.” I smile.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t. Could I?” she asks.
“Please. I insist.” I smile the best I could given the circumstances.
“Thank you. You’re too kind…umm…Mr….?”
“Doctor. Doctor Rocknocker. World traveler, oilman, and international ambassador of amity, good drinks, and fine cigars. Call me Rock” I said.
“Oh! A Doctor?” she brightens.
“Yes, of Petroleum Geology and Engineering. Not medicine.” I chuckle.
She chuckles back.
“And I am Hella Aaberg”, as she offers her hand for a quick shake.
“Interesting name, Hella. Scandinavian or Old German heritage?” I ask.
“On my father’s side. He’s Finnish.” She replies.
“But I’ll wager your mother is not Scandinavian, correct?” I ask.
“She was from Truk, an island…”
“In the South Pacific, Micronesia. Was she from Weno city?” I asked.
“Why yes. How could you possibly know that?” she asked.
“Oh, I’ve been there. Great diving amongst the WWII wrecks. I think it’s actually called ‘Chuuk Lagoon’ or something like that now.” I said.
“That’s right! Amazing. Where else have you been?” she asked.
“Anywhere there’s oil, strife, booze, cigars, heavy explosives and typically long distances from whatever most normal people call civilization,” I replied with a chuckle.
Suddenly, I hear a voice booming out behind me.
“Why don’t you save that rapier-like wit for those musky-fuckers back home, Rocko?”
My expression changes. My eyes pop fully wide open.
“Hella?” I asked.
“Yes?”
“May I ask you a favor?”
“You can ask…”
“Thank you. Now, looking over my shoulder, is there a hulking goon of a person, thin up top, paunchy halfway down with the most ridiculously tiny sized shoes you’ve ever seen for a so-called grown man?” I ask.
“Yes. Yes, there is.” She replies.
“I thought so. Many thanks.”
I spin and launch off my barstool and grab Toivo by the hand. He hadn’t seen my left-hand Thagomizer yet.
“Toivo! You old sumbitch. What the flying fennec fox fuck are you, of all people, doing in Hawaii?” I laughed.
“Just keeping an eye on you, Rock!” he laughed equally as loud.
“No, fucking-A, seriously. What the actual fuck? What are you doing in this actual nice place?” I asked.
“Just headed to Tokyo to conduct a bit of service company business. I walked into the lounge and smelled a foul cigar. I figured it can’t be the venerable Dr. Rocknocker. He’s back at some school up north terrorizing geology and engineering grads and undergrads.” Toivo laughed.
“But there I was. Surprise!”, I laughed and pumped his hand.
“What the fuck, Rock. Now what did you do?” he asks, referring to my Ankylosaur tail club left hand.
“Ah, fuck. Long story. Oh, pardon me. Toivo, this is Hella. We were just talking about the South Seas Islands.” I said.
“Planning on running off together?” Toivo laughs, to the amusement of neither party.
“Oh, and this idiot is Toivo, a man with a congenital foot-in-mouth disorder. He’s mostly harmless.” I noted to Hella.
Greetings were shared all around. Hella made some small excuses and said she needed to depart. I gave her another cigar for her husband, shook her hand, and wished her well.
“Here’s my business card. If your husband has any questions, have him drop me a line.” I noted.
Hella smiled beautifully. She said she would. Then she thanked me shook our hands, and like that, there she was, gone.
“Well Toivo, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse shit sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.” I motioned over to my perch on Mahogany Ridge.
“Don’t mind if I do”, he says as he deftly winds his way to a seat to my left, snagging a cigar out of my pocket on the way over.
“You might want these”, I say in an exasperated tone, and hand him my gold Dunhill Hobnail lighter and V-cutter gizmo.
He cuts and fires up his heater.
“What you drinkin’, Rock”, he asks.
“Anything with alcohol, as usual. You know that Toiv.” I reply.
“No. I mean right now.” He clarifies.
“Well, I had a Mai Tai. Very nice if you like fruity, flowery drinks. It’s the locals’ favorite.” I reply.
“Sounds good. I’ll have several. And you?” Toivo asks.
“My usual. The bartender is already apprised of the situation.” I reply.
Toivo smiles the smile of one knowing his sobriety is going to be taken out for a swim. Hell, taken out and tossed into the deep end.
Toivo and I sit there, swapping lies, smoking cigars and sipping at our toddies.
Hell, Toivo was slurping them like a sump-pump during an extra-wet summer.
We chattered about family, work, whether or not Tokyo was going to host the Olympics or if the COVID-boogie man scared everyone off.
Toivo, always one afflicted with TB (“Tiny Bladder”) got up to go to the loo for the third time that hour. He left his pocket organizer on the bar and I swear on a stack of Origins of Species, I didn’t touch it.
I reached over to his vacated seat to retrieve my cigar lighter when I looked down and saw in his organizer a tab that reads “Rack & Ruin”.
“Oh. No. Fucking. Way.” I recoiled as I’d just reached out and petted a 6-foot hungover scorpion.
“One of my best friends? Secretly allied with the Agency? No. Not possible.” I drained my drink and called for another.
“No. No. No. It can’t be. No. No fucking way…” as doubt began to dissolve when I thought back to all those times I had just ‘run into’ Toivo.
“But he’s oil patch as well. That could be chalked up to coincidence.” I ruminated quizzically in my brain.
I quickly reflected back on J.M. Darhower: “Yes, you see, there’s no such thing as coincidence. There are no accidents in life. Everything that happens is the result of a calculated move that leads us to where we are.”
She may be the author of the execrable New Adult Sempre series, which Esme likes and I loathe, but she might just be right on this occasion.
Toivo return, lighter in the bladder and good sense. He never even noticed he’d left his organizer out in broad bar light for all to see.
“So, Toivo, when’s your flight?” I ask.
“Oh, man. Was I lucky. The JAL flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles had mechanical trouble and had to divert here. I got a ticket on the plane for that flight, when it continues.
“You mean ‘if it continues’,” I replied.
“Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I meant. Hey! Was that your flight?” he asks innocently. He’s really innocent of fieldcraft.
I decide to have some fun at my old friend’s expense.
“Yep. Hit some CAT (Clear Air Turbulence) and the JAL pilots reported some lighting problem. No apparent ruin to any of the systems. They relay racked their brains to figure it out, but they couldn’t that’s why I here.” I said, waiting for the words to swim upstream in Toivo’s coconut and make some sort of connection.
“Yeah. Double lucky. No problem with the plane and I get to go to Japan early.” Toivo crookedly grins.
“So, no trouble with the plane? Then why haven’t I heard that the flight’s going to resume?” I asked as I pushed a fresh, seriously strong drink to Toivo.
“Oh, must have heard it in the john.” Toivo countered and tried to cover his tracks by taking a huge gulp of his drink and damn near dying coughing.
I pound on Toivo’s back.
“Heimlich time?” I ask.
Toivo signals ‘no’.
“Jesus Christ, Rock. What was that?” he asks.
“Just my usual”, I innocently replied.
“Holy fuck. No wonder you have the reputation of…” Toivo realizes too late that he’s said too much.
“Yeah. They can rack you out. Really ruin a person if they’re not careful.” I reply icily.
“Why, Rock. Whatever do you mean?” Toivo slurred as he realized he’s been caught out.
“The jig is up, you turncoat. You know Agents Rack and Ruin from the agency. Right? You keeping tabs on me for them? You Quisling! You Benedict Arnold!” I almost was on the verge of losing my cool.
“It was nothing. They approached me years ago as I kept being mentioned in your reports. They asked me for some information. One thing leads to another…” Toivo was ready for an Ankylosaur tail club swat to the bean.
“Oh, put your fucking hands down, you asshole.” I smiled and chuckled.
“You’re not mad?” Toivo slurred badly. I had the bartender make him another special drink.
“No, Toivo. Not mad. Just disappointed.” I said, smiling like a Komodo Dragon just finishing up a fortnight-old wildebeest.
Toivo sat there and puzzled and puzzled until his puzzler was sore.
“You’re not going to kill me or anything rude like that?” Toivo asked, half-assedly trying to inject humor into the proceedings.
“Nah. The paperwork’s too ridiculous for me to do another liberation. But, Jesus Fucking Christwagons, Toivo; you could have mentioned it to me. Fuck, I thought we were friends to the end?” I said, dejectedly.
I was really getting through to Toivo. I could tell he was loaded; feeling like shit and massively deplorable.
Great fieldcraft, indeed.
I told him things “are what they are” and that I won’t blow his cover nor his honorarium.
He began to feel better. I often wonder if he was serious about the sanctioning thing.
Then I delivered the strategic missile strike.
“Just remember, Toivo. I wrote your dossier for the Company…”
He swivels to look at me.
“And one for the KGB. Olga says ‘howdy’.” I grin evilly.
Toivo short-circuited at that. Russia is his company’s bread and butter. Now he has the KGB as well as his best buddy looking over his shoulder at every move.
I bought him a few more drinks and continued to needle him about his ’leading a double life’. He was well and truly fuckered when the electric tap-tap driver from before came looking for me to whisk me back to the plane.
Seems it was simply some knocked-out wires on the plane, or slammed bulbs that were generating a false positive, indicating something other than the system that alerts one to something haywire went haywire.
Toivo was pretty much down for the count. I got him sober enough to hand them his ticket and ensure that he was really supposed to be on this flight. Thing was; h e was in Economy, and I was, as always, in Business.
I spoke to Luna, and the plane was going to be even less crowded than previously because some folks could or wouldn’t wait, or didn’t want to go on with the rest of the trip on a ‘damaged’ aircraft, or were just stupid and superstitious.
“Luna, could I pay for the difference between Business and Economy for my less than 100% conscious friend here? He’s had a rough day.” I asked.
“Dr. Rock. Just put him into Business. No one will be the wiser. Luna says so.” As she gave us a grand smile.
“Luna, I owe you. Thanks so much.” I said.
“Now get on board. Your friend looks like he needs all the downtime he can get.”
“Yes, ma’am!” I said and saluted here be best I could which dragging a schnozzled Toivo down the jetway.
I dumped Toivo in a window seat well away from my seat. I know Toivo. He snores like a semi-load of live hogs rocketing downhill locking up the brakes at 88 MPH.
Surprise! There was no one else in Business. Luna looked at me, at Toivo, and gave me a thumbs up.
Whatever I can write to further her career at JAL, she’ll have it before I deplane.
We finally get everyone settled, and with Captain Kangaroo at the helm, we bounced gracelessly off the tarmac, into the warm, tropical Hawaiian air, finally headed for the Land of the Rising Sun.
Toivo was snoring like a chainsaw hitting rusty nails as I worked on the various letters, communiques, and dossiers which needed updating before we reached touchdown. I gave Luna a thick letter with instructions not to open it until we were on the ground and Toivo and I were well off and away into the terminal.
We left Hawaii at 1300 hours, so we should arrive at Tokyo Nareda around 4:00 pm, the previous day. I was so bereft of time and time zones, I couldn’t figure out what time it really was, as judged by my biometric rhythms, so I asked Luna for a stiff drink as I was kicking off my boots and going to attempt to get some kip.
She brought me another liter or so eponymous drink. I was sawing logs by the time I slurped the last swig of that nifty drink.
Suddenly, or later, I have no idea really, some loudmouth drunk asshole from way-the-fuck-back in economy-land toward the ass end of the plane staggered into Business demanding free drinks.
Luna was nothing but civil, and asked him to both shut up and return to his seat. His air cabin hostess, or whatever the fuck they’re calling them these days, will attend to his needs.
“Naw they won’t! They want me to pay for more drinks! I’m broke but I demand more booze! You fucking owe me.” railed the asshole. “I sat at the bar in Hawaii for four hours. Them fuckers charged me an arm and a leg!”
“No, they don’t owe you shit”, I said in a voice that unmistakably loud and clear.
“Fuck you, old man! You stay the fuck out of this!” he bellowed. “Shut up or I’ll do ya’!”
“’Old man’? ‘Do me’? Excuse me. Luna, may I have a word alone with this individual?” I asked sweetly.
Luna shook her head in the affirmative, and I stood up to confront this flagrant asshole.
“Now look, Scooter. You have gone way, way over the fucking line. You are loud. You are abusive. You are obnoxious. And you stink. Plus you insulted a person who is just barely containing his righteous wrath right now. So, I’m giving you one and one only chance to shut up, sit back down before your body spontaneously develops all sort of bruises, contusions, broken bones, and unconsciousness.” I said calmly, evenly, and threateningly.
“What da’ fuck you think you’re going to do…old man?” he screeched, trying to inflate himself into full mammalian threat posture, all 5’ 9” of it.
He didn’t notice Toivo walking up quietly behind him, as Toivo was returning from the head, quiet as a moose.
“Well, Scooter, I am an Air Marshall. Duly appointed, fully trained, and properly pissed off. Right now, I can arrest you, physically detain you, turn this flight around and take you to the Hawaiian police, at your cost for the inconvenience of the entire flight. Or I could arrest you, physically detain you, and turn you over to the Japanese authorities when we land. It’s really your choice. Choose wisely.”
To be continued…⇝
submitted by Rocknocker to Rocknocker [link] [comments]

Patch Notes for Cayo Perico Heist Update 1.52

[December 15, 2020] – New Content in Grand Theft Auto Online

GTA Online Fixes

Game Stability and Performance

Matchmaking & Networking

Content

Awards and Daily Objectives

Properties

Vehicles

Clothing

Miscellaneous

Story Mode

submitted by PapaXan to gtaonline [link] [comments]

Patch notes and changes [PSA]

Patch Notes for Cayo Perico Heist Update 1.52
[December 15, 2020] – New Content in Grand Theft Auto Online

GTA Online Fixes

Game Stability and Performance

Matchmaking & Networking

Content

Awards and Daily Objectives

Properties

Vehicles

Clothing

Miscellaneous

Story Mode

submitted by YtBipolarGamers to gtaglitches [link] [comments]

I never thought my work injury would cause me so many issues in PSO2 socially

The biggest problem I've ever had with MMO's?
The other people.
I started playing PSO2 back in May. Found a work around for getting the game here in the UK early, and what with being on furlough due to the current pandemic, I sank a lot of time into it. I'd played Phantasy Star 2 on the Megadrive and a little bit of PSU back in the 360 days, so was excited to give it a go. However, there was an issue...
Last year I sustained an injury at work (an accident involving machinery...) resulting in my index finger and middle finger on my right hand being semi-paralyzed. Basically, I can very slightly move them sometimes, but I wouldn't rely in them to do anything. Occasionally my thumb seizes up too, so I can't exactly rely on that either. If I attempt to use any of those digits extensively, I get bad pains and cramps along the back of my hand. Isn't permanent nerve damage fun? I've had various physio sessions and am on a repeat prescription for painkillers, but I will never have full use of my right hand ever again, and yes, it was my dominant hand.
It's an ongoing struggle to not let it rule everything I do, but obviously I've had to make a lot of lifestyle adjustments. The most relevant one here being how I game. I'm very much a console gamer. Turn based JRPG's are now my best friend. Classic Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest and Pokémon remain very much unchanged, just at a bit of a slower pace. Everything else... When I booted up a new game, usually the first thing I do (if the option is available) is to crank the game up to the highest difficulty. I just find games more fun if there's a fair challenge. Let me... try my best to describe how I use a controller now for the longest and easiest gameplay. I rest the whole controller on my thigh. So left hand, as you'd expect, left hand is fine. Right, I use the palm of my hand to control the right thumbstick (thankfully most games, just the camera). A thumbgrip on the stick makes this easier than you'd think. My ring and little finger do all the rest, so on an Xbox controller that's A,B, X, Y and the two R buttons. I'll use my left hand if I need to use the Menu button. It's really not easy, and whilst I'm learning to get used to it, it is still a struggle, and my days of hardest difficulty are long over.
Now back to PSO2...
There's many different ways to play and enjoy the game. Explorations and ARKS quests are no real issue for me, Casino sessions are a ridiculous amount of fun, I love the story, and fashion... DAMN, I love CASTs. Urgent Quests... For the most part, I'm actually OK with it. Mining Bases and Gone With the Wind and Rain were my first few UQs at max level (75 at the time).
I play Braver. Initially this was because in games where you can choose a class like this one, I've always favoured bows and quick melee weapons. Braver appealed to me. I stuck to this class because Morning Mistreaver combined with the Katana Combat invincibility is very forgiving for my ailment.
Dark Falz Elder I remember being the first one I died a lot in. I majorly ticked off my alliance at the time with how badly I was doing. I decided to explain my injury in the alliance Discord, hoping they'd just keep it in the back of their minds when they played with me. What happened next... My alliance basically split in two with me. Half I expected, the other half I didn't.
So one half did exactly what I feared an shunned me. Wasn't allowed in any triggers, was never invited to the UQs, wasn't even allowed to come along for VHAQ and SHAQ's which I had no real issues with. I was sad but I can't expect serious end game players to bring along a player with a handicap. What bothered me was that people who I had banter with in the lobby now would no longer even talk to me. That hurt.
The other half... I became a charity case, or maybe a challenge? People would take me, but encourage me to just be there. I was being prompted to be carried. UQs would come along, not even Elder, and alliance chat would have people telling me they don't need a 4th so I can 'tag along and watch'. Also, some people started talking to me in layman's terms, or over explaining things, talking to me as if I had a mental disability. No offence to people who do of course, but my disability is physical. I know how to augment and I research the market and drops to see what gear is best. I don't need someone telling me to 'imagine your weapon is a pet. You want your pet to grow big and strong, don't you? So you need all these vitamins to feed him to make him the best he can be! So get these other weapons with the vitamins you need, and you can get an even better weapon for yourself!'. I wish I was exaggerating... as I sat there with my Nemesis Cougar with 6 augments I did myself including ARKS Max and Apprentice Soul (which if you remember back then was a big deal).
I left that alliance, switched the blocks I frequent and moved on. I joined a new alliance and told myself I wouldn't tell anyone else about my hand. I'd rather have people just think I was a bad player. I ended up just joining randoms for the boss UQs from now on. It stayed this way for a long time... until the Fellwyrm. Before the first time it popped up, I was already chilling with fellow alliance members in the lobby. My plan was to break off when the emergency announcement went up, but received a party invite from an alliance officer before I could. I decided what the hey and accepted, figuring I could play it off as a new UQ and that I'm not sure how it works if I died a lot. I made the mistake of saying as a joke 'Sorry if I die, new UQ, gotta learn it! XD', to have the officer say they're a JP vet, explaining the basic outline and giving a few tips. It was genuinely quite helpful, and I only died twice! Then I learned it was a 2 part quest...
Yes, I had attempted Deus Esca with randoms before this one, and yes, I was responsible for 4 of the 5 deaths (2 of the people in the party blocked me afterwards). I told myself OK, not going to burden anyone with part two any more, that's unfair to others. I tried to back out of my party before the second half, saying I didn't want to do it, I'll make us reach the death limit, to be told there wasn't one. I left the party to be re-invited into it... So because (I thought) I got on well with the officer, I decided to go for it. We... ran out the timer. Granted, not just my fault (another member of the party wasn't fantastic either), but I got singled out by the officer for the blame on it as they noted I was pretty much just using one photon art (Morning Mistreaver. It does good damage and helps with aim and gap closing, genuinely so helpful) and rarely if ever used my bow. I met the ugly side of this officer and was asked to give a public apology and an explanation for my actions, as I had now 'deprived 3 members of the alliance a proper experience with the Urgent Quest'. There was even talk of me compensating them with Meseta. I tried to plead my case that I did say and try to leave (with one party member thankfully taking my side in that one), and even contemplated explaining my condition... but instead just logged off. I was pinged many times in Discord, but muted. When I logged into PSO2 the next day, I was no longer a member of the alliance, and had a Discord PM from the leader (who was offline during this UQ) saying they heard I had purposely gone out of my way to deprive my fellow members of a good experience, with logging out (to escape abuse) apparently solidified I did it out of spite.
I decided to go at it as a solo player, and told myself I'd never do another UQ.
I changed blocks again but... This time I found it hard to socialise with anyone. If people would chat to me, I would go quiet, bolt if asked to join anyone for stuff, and often pretend to be AFK and just lobby watch, forever torn between wanting to join the fun and not wanting to spoil it. I also made an Alt as Summoner class in hopes that maybe that class would work out better for me, and honestly it probably does but I find it such a dull class to play. Just a personal preference.
I do log into this game everyday. That can be a full session, or can just be 15 mins or so to knock out the daily missions. One day whilst I was lobby watching in a popular block, I actually jumped on a conversation when people were talking about Phantasy Star 2 on the Megadrive. There's lots of players who have been playing Phantasy Star since the Dreamcast, but it's less common to find people from the old bit days. Turns out the people in the conversation were in an alliance together, one of which being the leader. They invited me to join. I hesitated at first, telling them I hadn't had much luck with the social side of things. They told me they were a chill alliance, and a bonus is the leader and a lot of members were UK based, so no problems with time zones matching up. I went for it... However I still had issues socialising.
I often still lobby watched. I think subconsciously I didn't want to build up more social connections to have them severed again by my abilities. Honestly I'm not bothered about going to UQs, I'm more upset that the social aspect of the game is being hindered because of my ailment. We were in the second or third week of Halloween events when I joined this alliance, making Trick or Treat my first UQ since the dragon. It was a pretty easy one too, had a lot of fun with that one.
This alliance liked to have characters of NPC players too, spurring me to make one and try out ranger class. As much as I love my braver, Ranger class actually works stupidly well for me too, and honestly I don't know why I didn't try it sooner.
And yet despite this, I still couldn't find it in myself to properly be social again. I'd see events in Discord and say I was going to join in but then just didn't. I tried joining in with more NPC shenanigans but...
It was like my mind was telling me to back off before I was shunned again.
We had a lot of alliance drama completely unrelated to all that recently. It involved a rift in the officers and the leader leaving and taking most of the other members with them. To my dismay it was pretty much all the UK players that left, meaning I'd now often be logging out as all the alliance events were happening. I wasn't scouted for the new alliance. I guess I wasn't social enough, but to be honest I don't think I would've joined anyway due to my views on how the ordeal went down.
I want a 15* fancy weapon, so I've been braving the Persona UQ. To be honest I think I'm definitely getting used to it all, I'm managing to get through it with no deaths on both my Braver and my Ranger. I even decided to run with the alliance again... which got me invited to a 4 man trigger. Yes, I died a lot, but I needed that void stuff. To be honest, the alliance reacted very well to it, not bothered at all that I was down a lot. I took myself out of the equation for future 4 man triggers, but was pleasantly surprised that there was no backlash. The only thing that's bothering me is I'm getting advice on skill trees and tactics that I can't pull off, but that's nothing major. Hope they're not expecting to see any improvements.
This now small alliance is so different to the others I've been in. Maybe they'll react differently to my ailment, and I'm concerned that if I don't say anything that I may get pushed out. Should I tell them? I'm contemplating confiding in my alliance leader first and then seeing how they react, but then if they react negatively that could affect my position. I don't want to switch social blocks again, I'm enjoying the social atmosphere of the game again. Maybe I'm overthinking it, and these bad experiences I should just disregard as isolated incidents, but then I think of how well I got on with people in my previous groups before they found out about my ailment and/or how bad I was at the game.
What do I do? I genuinely don't know any more.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't treat people badly for not being great at the game, and remember that the social aspect can be taken separately to the core game. You never know what your actions will do to people long term.
submitted by MusingsIfYouWill to PSO2 [link] [comments]

Perfect Timing

Perfect Timing submitted by hollow2018 to gtaonline [link] [comments]

[Let's build] d100 events caused by magical manifestations/creatures/beings that happen in a Modern City.

Hey everyone! I'm trying to put together a game where my players will be apart of an organization that protects the human world (or really just the city they'll be playing in) from otherworldly/magical/etc. threats. The city seems to be a focal point for strange occurrences, magical creatures and beings, portals, etc. If anyone remembers Special Unit 2 from the early 00's, it's like that. (Man I loved that show.) And this is the map I'm using, just changing the name but the layout and places of interest are mostly staying the same.
Edit: Wow! Thanks guys! Totally didn't expect this to get as many as it did, this is a wealth of sidequests. Thank you so much! If you want to check out SU2 I'm pretty sure there are some episodes on YouTube. Its heavy on the cheese and it'll be really dated by today's standards but it was a good time.
  1. A connection to the Feywild has happened in one of the city parks. An elf finds his way through and finds it entertaining to enlarge small animals.
  2. Thieves have stolen an artifact from the history museum, reanimating a mummy in one of the exhibits.
  3. An unusual amount of sharks have been seen near the docks. Boats are being attacked by Sahuagin raiders.
  4. A surge of chaotic magic bursts and causes the creation of multiple Mephits. (Depending on location)
  5. An edgy teen visits a graveyard to perform a necromantic ritual. He doesnt know that the "spell book" he has actually contains an incantation that raises several undead and is now in over his head.
  6. A dead body found, torn apart, all signs point to someone summoning a low level demon and using it as the murder weapon.
  7. Somebody figured out how to brew love potions and now they are selling them on the streets.
  8. A portal to the elemental plane of water opened in the city's water supply. Now wild water elementals are pouring out of showers, sinks, and fountains.
  9. A skyscraper acquires an elemental spirit. The movements start off so subtle that they could be mistaken for the wind, but they become stranger and stronger with each passing day.
  10. Zoo animals begin take on dire traits and break out their enclosures.
  11. Goodberries become an invasive plant through runners, never flower, never fruit, just keep branching out.
  12. Turns out the royal family were lizardfolk.
  13. An a little person (Halfling arcane trickster) is hitting up all the casinos.
  14. A cleric poses as the second coming of christ, oh he also caused covid 19.
  15. An artificer constructing his own personal army of modrons.
  16. Strange events in a swimming pool, several people have died by drowning (Water Weirds).
  17. Rust monster moves into a construction site, eats and rusts the supports and the workers equipment.
  18. The Native American Thunderbird is finally spotted, its a Roc.
  19. Boogey man sighted by many families. An Oni is skulking between houses, looking for something or someone.
  20. Monsters take up residence in an abandoned circus. Medusa in the house of mirrors. Rakshasa tending to tigers. An ogre in the strongman tent. A hag in the psychics caravan.
  21. Kraken spotted near the mariana trench.
  22. Running of the bull - a famous giant bull statue is turned into a gorgon and roams the streets.
  23. A wizard has become a modern day frankenstein, constructing a flesh golem.
  24. The gargoyles of a famous landmark come to life at night.
  25. Duergar have been building tunnels in the underground and taking the tracks to increase their metal stores.
  26. A dryad protects a park after witnessing too many people littering in its home.
  27. A young shadow dragon takes offense at all the lights at night, ruining it's stealth and plans.
  28. Barlgura takes a woman hostage and climbs to the top of a skyscraper.
  29. A Bulette is reaking havoc on a nearby junction. The cars are disturbing its young.
  30. Some jackass decided to magically enlarge a chicken so he can have bigger drumsticks. The spell worked, in fact it worked too well. The chicken's the size of an allosaurus and is rampaging down town!
  31. The low income tenement housing is a blaze and the fire departments are having a terrible time putting out the flames ... largely due to the presence of an accidentally summoned fire elemental. Thankfully the elemental will return to the Plane of Fire in an hour when the spell ends.
  32. A real live dinosaur walks through the screen at a viewing of Jurassic Park.
  33. A few real zombies turn up in the middle of a walking dead (costume party / filming / LARP).
  34. A group of adventurers walk through a portal. They end up attacking a group of larpers.
  35. Dinosaur skeleton at a museum animates.
  36. Men are disappearing around the (canals, docks, river, etc). Mermaids are luring them into the water.
  37. Giant rats in someone's basement.
  38. Terracotta soldiers at a museum animate.
  39. Statues around the city have begun animating seemingly at random.
  40. A group of pixies has developed a fascination with cars and keep stealing parts from them.
  41. 3 people have gone missing on the 39th floor of the Enigma Enterprises office on 11th street. The building is only 35 stories tall.
  42. The public library’s chief librarian just won her 1,402nd consecutive Employee of the Month award.
  43. A local graffiti artist has starting to use a new tag that incorporates a design they saw in a museum exhibit on ancient writings. These tags begin acting as portals to... elsewhere.
  44. A grafitti artist who has been illegaly spraying his art work around the city has suddenly started incorperating dangerous runes into his art that have several anomulous effects (like low gravity in an area or being part of a summoning ritual).
  45. An amusement park has to shut down the log flume and other water rides due to an infestation of water weirds.
  46. A subway tunnel collapses and traps a subway train after a portal opens and releases a Purple Worm into the tunnel, weakening the ceiling. Luckily another portal opened up soon thereafter and the purple worm was transported back to whichever fantasy world it came from.
  47. A user posted the true name of a powerful demon on an old forum, and cultists are trying to steal the forum's retired servers from a warehouse before the data is overwritten.
  48. A local shut in has accidentally started and broken a contract with a brownie
  49. A blink dog is making a habit of stealing dog toys from dogs at the park
  50. A water elemental gets stuck in the sewers due to the amount of human garbage
  51. A gnome alchemist has been dosing coffee pots in cafes around the city with various potions for entertainment
  52. An elven druid has convinced the local pigeon populace to fight back against corruption in office, targeting a mayoral candidate. the druid is working for another mayoral candidate who is forcing her to work for him by holding her pet familiar hostage
  53. An artificer who came to our world has discovered firearms and has developed the world's first eldritch cannon, as such he is now being hunted by human military agencies that want his prototype
  54. Beans from a bag of beans have somehow been mixed into a shipment of green beans to a grocery store
  55. An annual dwarfism awareness event is populated almost entirely by halflings who entered the modern world illegally
  56. A magical disease that causes those afflicted with it to dance even without music until they eventually collapse from exhaustion
  57. Telepathic conversations are being picked up by cellphone calls, the snippets of audio are indicative of a plan to assassinate city's head of communications
  58. An assistant at the local morgue has been found beaten to death, and several bodies are missing. There are spots of clay all over the morgue, and all the missing bodies are of women between the ages of 18-30. A lonely and insane wizard has created a clay golem and is now using it to find the parts he needs to make a flesh golem bride from himself.
  59. There's been a series of mysterious deaths in the local red light district. Several Johns, and even a few Janes, have been found dead with no obvious cause, the only links between them is that they were all found in a state of undress, and they all had a look of horror on their faces. One of the prostitutes is actually a succubus in disguise, and she has been sucking the souls or her clients.
  60. There's been talk about a changeling in the city who, for a price, will take the form of whoever you request and frame them for various crimes.
  61. The rivalry between the goblin gang, The Sons of Gobbo, and the kobold gang, Tucker's Kobolds, is threatening to escalate to the point of gang warfare. Either peace is to be made between the two gangs, or a crackdown on one or both gangs is required.
  62. A mated pair of wyverns are staking out the local park for a nesting ground. We've got to run off those wyverns before they settle down or else we'll have to call in the national guard... again.
  63. Some poor fool bought what he thought was a monkey's paw, only for it to turn out to be the Hand of Vecna. We need to get it from him before he decides to do something stupid, like actually use it!
  64. An artist's inspiration turns out to be extraplanar in nature, causing their gallery opening to becoming a summoning ritual.
  65. A jewel heist takes a sinister turn as the pieces in question fit into a dangerous artefact. It's a race against time to find the exact location this artefact will be used and stop it.
  66. A building demolition releases Dao who originally carved out the subway system. You've either got to banish them, or offer them something they want more than vengeance.
  67. A tanker needs to be rescued before it can reach port. The cargo manifest points to illegal trafficking of Yuan-ti.
  68. A local crime boss sparks a war in the streets. His motivation is a new found patron that has given him "unique" powers (level 1 spells at best).
  69. Renovations of the university library uncovers tomes of magic causing a Revenge of the Nerds style scenario with pranks played on the local sports teams.
  70. An artist's inspiration turns out to be extraplanar in nature, causing their gallery opening to becoming a summoning ritual.
  71. A jewel heist takes a sinister turn as the pieces in question fit into a dangerous artefact. It's a race against time to find the exact location this artefact will be used and stop it.
  72. A building demolition releases Dao who originally carved out the subway system. You've either got to banish them, or offer them something they want more than vengeance.
  73. A tanker needs to be rescued before it can reach port. The cargo manifest points to illegal trafficking of Yuan-ti.
  74. A local crime boss sparks a war in the streets. His motivation is a new found patron that has given him "unique" powers (level 1 spells at best).
  75. Renovations of the university library uncovers tomes of magic causing a Revenge of the Nerds style scenario with pranks played on the local sports teams.
  76. Someone is putting religious scrolls in the heads of the statues around town. They are coming alive as golems.
  77. A necromancer has set up shop in the Natural History Museum. They tunneled into the back so are in the Human Origins exhibit, but they are headed towards the dinosaur bones.
  78. Someone is making the paintings come alive!
  79. Harpies are nesting in the dome of the Capitol building!
  80. A siren in the river is causing drivers to drive off the bridge.
  81. A bullette has fallen in love with one of the subway trains.
  82. The Botanical Garden has come alive! Awakened trees and myconids and spore servants are causing panic!
  83. If you were in NYC or Kentucky, a dragon has sniffed out the Federal Gold Reserves and is trying to make it his lair.
  84. When you’re in the metro system, which is naturally full of graffiti, one of the graffiti symbols lights up. It’s a rune that’s about to explode.
  85. The newspaper reports that every single McDonald's in the area has a working ice cream machine. It's deemed a miracle by many in the city. The newspaper credits it to hard-working corporate engineers who have perfected the cleaning and disinfection process. You, however, know the real reason. With some investigation, it turns out that the $1 $2 $3 dollar menu has a perfect storm spell coded into the registers. The codes for specific items, when entered in a specific sequence in a customer's order, are actually a conjuration spell that summons a Mimic, and, as we all know, Mimics have a fondness for soft serve.
  86. Lightning/Electric elementals have found junction boxes to be tasty snacks causing blackouts around the city. Remove them so the engineers can fix the grid.
  87. A minotaur has found the "Bull in a China shop" analogy to be racist and is now sitting in said shop and refuses to leave. The owner is distraught, and hesitant to say anything due to the red interior and the possibility of a fight breaking out. Remove the minotaur without causing any damage.
  88. Pixies have found photo bombing models to be the new prank for anyone that wants to be popular. Here's a net, catch them and give them an alternative to photo bombing.
  89. Vampires have been found in front of many Old Town homes, we believe that they are trying to either buy the home or enjoy the look of the neighborhood. In any case, the home owners want you to be there for protection while talking to the vampires.
  90. There are cultists holding rallies in the park. I need you to separate out the ones that can do harm and the ones that are less likely to be harmful. Also they need permits to do that so every one of them gets a ticket.
  91. Some wizard decided s/he was going to set up residence in the middle of the road. S/he said something about ley lines or some such being good there. Stop them from doing so and show them around town so they can find an alternative spot, they'll be a strong ally so work with them please.
  92. Ratmen have been found in the subway system. In order for the population to not explode, I need you to organize them to some degree. Find a representative that can speak for them and bring them here so we can talk.
submitted by FatherMellow to d100 [link] [comments]

[Glitch] Give Avenger to friends

(CURRENTLY PATCHED AS OF 10/24/20)
FOUNDERS: @Max1382, @bennybird77, @TUESDAZE Steps from @ troyconleys
OG Thread: https://www.se7ensins.com/forums/threads/new-give-avenger-to-friends.1809349/#post-14278292
REQUIREMENTS:
3 Friends, 1 to start the glitched session, giver and reciever
Giver needs a Facility, Avenger and Bunker
Reciever needs Facility
STEPS:
Load into an online session.
Go to creator.
Hover over “Exit to Grand Theft Auto V”
Press pause, online, play GTA online and start an invite only session. Start spamming X through all the alerts. You will spawn in an online session with the SP Casino.
Invite the person giving the Avenger and the person receiving the Avenger to your session.
Steps to drop Avenger:
Go to Bunker, have a friend in front of bunker with a car
Get in passenger seat and send CEO invite to the driver
Driver quickly drive to yellow marker and accept CEO invite (You will be frozen for a few seconds)
Driver far away so passenger sees the map rendering on screen
When fully rendered driver drives back to bunker gets out of car, walks into bunker and back out to get interaction map back, leave the CEO and call out Avenger.
The passenger is now the render person.
Render person now gets into Avenger as the driver. Owner of Avenger is passenger.
Fly Avenger into mountain above facility.
Owner of Avenger turns on autopilot and the render person jumps out of Avenger.
Owner of Avenger takes the controls and turns off the autopilot.
Owner flys the avenger into the facility and stays in the Avenger. They will spawn in their own facility.
Receiver will see the Avenger in their and will get into the new Avenger and hold r-dpad until the menu comes up to make a change. Change armor or something cheap.
Once change is made both parties can exit their Avengers and the facility.
Receiver now returns their Avenger to storage and call it back out.
Change your outfit to force a save.
Enjoy your new Avenger.
submitted by Vapperdaeve to gtaglitches [link] [comments]

ZigZag777 | 15 gratis spins + €1000 welcome bonus + 100 free spins

ZigZag777 | 15 gratis spins + €1000 welcome bonus + 100 free spins
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ZigZag777 No Deposit Bonus, Free Spins, Codes
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ZigZag777 Casino is offering an amazing 100% welcome bonus of up to €200 for the newly registered players. Apart from that, players can also claim a 15% cashback bonus for net losses on their deposit. Their mobile gaming feature is pretty impressive and available in the Russian and English languages. Also, there is a live game lobby where players can check out live dealer games. Continue reading below to learn more about ZigZag777 Casino and its features.
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Most people are on the lookout for the new casino sites because they offer a generous welcome bonus. ZigZag777 Casino meets the expectations of such players by offering a 100% match bonus of up to €200 to new players on their first deposit. This promotion is available on a one-time basis for the new players who have verified their credentials. Players must deposit a minimum of €10 to become eligible for this special promotion.
The operator automatically credits the bonus within a few hours after making the deposit. If not, players should get in touch with customer support and the same will be credited immediately. The welcome bonus comes with 40 times wagering requirements before players can request withdrawal of their winning amount. Different games contribute differently towards wagering requirements and players should read the terms and conditions carefully.

ZigZag777 Casino Free Spins and Other Promotions

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VIP Program at a Glance

ZigZag777 Casino believes that players should be rewarded considerably every time they play. So the more you play the favorite slots, the more loyalty points you will receive. From the moment the player start playing, they will earn comp points that can be converted into a bonus. For every €50 wager, players will receive 1 comp point which can be converted into a bonus subject to 40 times wagering requirements.
The VIP Program at ZigZag777 Casino is divided into several categories depending on their comp points. The same is mentioned below:
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Availability of Different Games

The majority of the games available at ZigZag777 Casino are available from the Microgaming software provider. Hence, players can enjoy abundant slot titles from this software provider. Also, players can expect games from other software developers like NextGen Gaming, Genesis Gaming, Quickspin, and Yggdrasil to name a few. Some of the slot titles worth playing include Ariana, Win Sum Dim Sum, Immortal Romance, and Games of Thrones. Also, there are some progressive slots featured at the casino like Mega Moolah and Mega Fortune.
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Does ZigZag777 Offer Live Casino Games?

Players looking to experience the thrill and adrenaline-pumping action of land-based casinos should check out the live casino section at ZigZag777. There are plenty of live dealer games available for uninterrupted action and entertainment. Players can choose from multiple variants of Live Roulette and Live Blackjack.
The games are available in high definition format via live streaming from the land-based studios. People will be competing against human dealers and can interact with them via live chat. It is important to note that players should deposit funds in their account before they can access the live dealer games.

Can I Play Games on the Mobile?

Players who are constantly traveling and play games should check out the mobile gaming feature at ZigZag777 Casino. The operator offers a native application that is compatible with different smartphone and tablet devices. Also, their official site is fully mobile responsive and offers a lag-free gaming experience on portable devices running on Android and iOS platforms.
The games load quickly on the mobile browser and offer the best gaming experience from any place on Earth. The overall selection is slightly less as compared to their desktop version but still, there are plenty of titles for uninterrupted gaming. Apart from playing games, players can use the mobile gaming feature to deposit funds and get in touch with customer care.
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ZigZag777 Payment and Withdrawal Methods

The cashier menu at ZigZag777 Casino sufficiently covers a wide range of convenient, widespread, and time-efficient banking methods that anyone expects from a top-rated casino. All available payment methods are 100% reliable and secure and ZigZag777 uses the same security technology which is used by the leading banking institutions across the globe. Every single transaction is encoded using the latest SSL encryption technology to ensure players are protected from fraud and identity thefts.
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How Efficient is the Customer Support?

The staff members at ZigZag777 Casino work round the clock to deliver outstanding customer service to all players who need any assistance. This goes to show that the operator values its patrons and works towards establishing a good relationship with its players. The support representatives are available 24 hours from Monday to Friday. They are prompt in their replies and are always happy to help players with detailed information.
Their outstanding level of customer service is anything but surprising as every single team member is professionally qualified to handle any type of query. There are several ways to get in touch with the customer support team like live chat, email program, and telephone service. It is important to note that the live chat feature is not available over the weekend. During the weekend, players can send emails which will be answered latest by Monday.
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Players searching for a reliable and new online casino should look no further than ZigZag777 Casino. Since its inception three years ago, the casino continues to expand and is rising from strength to strength. The success of this online casino is evident from their game fairness, prompt payouts, hassle-free online transactions, transparency and finally diversity of games.
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submitted by freespins1 to u/freespins1 [link] [comments]

PokeOdyssey Pixelmon [Latest - Custom - FUN!]

Hello, We are a smaller community that would like to reach out and invite all players that enjoy a nonpay2win experience to come join the server and give us a try, we have been around for a bit and have worked hard on implementing a ton of awesome plugins that expand on the pixelmon mod and rewards the players who put in the time and work!
As an example, our latest addition to the server is PokePass this fulfills our promise to give our most committed players a constant rewarding experience for playing not paying!
Pokepass: is a playtime based rewards menu that has 5 tiers and in each tier there is 10 levels to complete once you have put in the playtime you can redeem anything from pokeballs, Rarecandy even Pokemon of all variations and types!
​
We are currently looking for Staff Apply here: https://www.pokeodyssey.com/staffapp
IP: play.pokeodyssey.com
Website: https://www.pokeodyssey.com [Massive Sale]
Discord: https://discord.gg/UvVm3ZK
Technic Modpack Link: http://modpack.pokeodyssey.com/
Plugins & Features:
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Feel free to ask as many question as you'd like we will answer them as fast as we can thank you!
submitted by OfficialPokeOdyssey to PixelmonMod [link] [comments]

FortuneJack Bitcoin Casino 50 free spins no deposit bonus

FortuneJack Bitcoin Casino 50 free spins no deposit bonus
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FortuneJack Casino Review
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FortuneJack Casino Review

The site is laid out fairly well with a few areas we’d like to see improvement. We did dock some points for the fact of how “heavy” the site is on Bitcoin. If you don’t have a firm understanding of Bitcoin and the exchange rates, you will have to do a lot of calculations to know how much certain limits or bonuses are. A lot of Bitcoin only sites will have some real dollar guides on the site to help you out. That being said, you can learn it all within a few minutes.
As Bitcoin grows in popularity, the number of Bitcoin casinos and online gaming sites continues to grow as well. Established in 2014 by the Nexus Group, FortuneJack can still be considered one of the newer players on the market with a lot to offer. While some sites that offer Bitcoin offer other forms of currency, FortuneJack is only a Bitcoin site. This doesn’t mean you can’t use other methods to fund your account; you’ll just need to fund them into a Bitcoin wallet and then deposit onto the site.
If you’re unfamiliar with Bitcoin, it brings a whole host of benefits and advantages not just to online gaming but to pretty much anything that you do on the internet. It allows you to protect your identity, banking details, as well as provides a cheaper and more efficient way to move money. We’ve put together this guide to Bitcoin for you if you’re interested in finding out more about how it all works.

Rating Breakdown

For a Bitcoin-only site, Fortune Jack is a pretty solid choice. The reason we docked a few points is that it is solely a Bitcoin site with no other banking options and the setup of the site is heavy in Bitcoin meaning that you won’t see anything in US dollars or Pounds or Euros. Everything is listed in Bitcoins which may be a little confusing at first if you’re new to the currency. Overall, the site was good, but not great, but does have quite a bit of room to grow.

FortuneJack Game Variety

The site has a lot of different gaming options from about nine different providers. We know how many providers they have because they strangely have their games separated by providers instead of alphabetically or by type. They had no branded games that we saw, but still a lot of great options from a lot of great providers. The quality of their non-slot casino-style games was extremely high and definitely needs to be brought to your attention. If you’re a roulette, video poker, or blackjack player, you’re really going to love this site.

FortuneJack Banking

This may be a bit more of a harsh rating due to the fact that the casino is a Bitcoin-only site, but it’s what we decided on. If we were looking at it as only filling the Bitcoin niche, it would be a 5/5, but since we’re looking at it in comparison to other sites, it would have been nice to see a lot more options on top of just the Bitcoin. The Bitcoin options seem up to par and nothing special to report there except that it looks to be good to go.

FortuneJack Bonuses

The site had quite a few welcome and deposit bonuses as well as a rake race style competition that run weekly. There was a little confusion on how much or how little you need to deposit to get the deposit bonuses, but you should be able to easily contact support and get it clarified if you need any clarification. The site also makes mention of some other bonuses including free spins but does not have any details posted. This may be an error, or they may only have these additional bonuses seasonally.

FortuneJack Customer Service

The site has a contact form and email support listed which is nice, but they did not have any form of live chat or telephone support. Without a ton of testing, it’s hard to tell if these are adequate or not. They could be great if they respond extremely quickly or could be terrible and an easy way for them to ignore you.

User Interface

As FortuneJack is probably fairly new to you (as it was to us), we wanted to take some time and dig through the site and see what they were all about. As always with our reviews, our main goal is to provide you with an accurate and brutally honest picture of what the site has to offer, the benefits, and more importantly, any problems or areas of improvement that we see need to be addressed.
We’re not here to put out a feel-good piece about every site we review. We’re here to give you an accurate count of the site from our experts and equip you to make an informed decision whether or not a site is worth your time or is a good fit for you to play at.
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First Glance

The very first thing we noticed when coming to FortuneJack is that they are very heavy on the Bitcoin. What does this mean? Well, a lot of sites will convert Bitcoins into a more standard currency when they write things on the site to make things a little easier for those new to Bitcoin to understand. FortuneJack doesn’t seem to do this and has everything written out in Bitcoins. For example, some sites (even being Bitcoin) might list their jackpot amount as $2 million, but FortuneJack has their major jackpot listed as 1855.99352835 Bitcoins. These are going to be the exact same amount, but they’re just presented differently.
Does this mean you’ll win any less if you hit the jackpot? Of course not, but it may just take an additional learning curve for you to realize the amounts of a few things. Most likely, this will involve making a few extra calculations when you first start playing at the site, but will probably be something you eventually get accustomed to.
Additionally, on our first pass through the site, we noticed the quality of all the games look to be high. We didn’t see any branded style games, but they do have a lot of games from at least nine different providers. They had a ton of slot games to choose from, and their table/card game selection did look to be higher than with most other sites in the industry. These included a lot of variations or similar games that could be a big perk if you’re picky about what you like to play.
In regards to the layout, it initially looked fairly clean and well laid out, though, after a little more digging we saw some things we think they could improve on to make navigation and finding your favorite games a bit easier. They had multiple ways to access the list of games that threw us for a loop the first time we saw it. Games are also separated by type and then by the provider. Separation by the game type is great, but to be honest with you, we have no idea what providers make our favorite games, so that sort of organization seems a bit pointless to the casual player. We’ll cover this in depth in the sections below.
FortuneJack also had no sportsbook which really isn’t a negative as sites that usually focus on one area instead of trying to be a one-stop shop do a better job in that area of focus. Again, we said usually, but at first glance, this looks like it might be the case with FortuneJack.
Overall at first glance, things look clean, and we’re fairly excited to dig deeper into everything we initially saw and hopefully some things we haven’t seen yet. We’re anticipating a fairly positive overall experience based on first glance, but you can never judge a book by its cover.

Slots

Let’s start with the positives. Game selection was huge, like considerably more games than most of the other sites we’ve taken a look at recently. The games looked to be of varying quality from the run of the mill games to some pretty sweet looking selections to choose from. We didn’t see any branded games (games named after famous shows or movies) which would have been nice and was a bit expected with so many different options.
The reasoning for so many game options is because unlike a lot of online gaming sites, FortuneJack purchased games from a ton of different providers. They had games from Endorphina, Softswiss, Igrosoft, Tomhorn, Amatic, Playson, Pragmatic Play, Microgaming, and Gameart. Now, while we’ve heard of a lot of these companies, we don’t really expect you to be too familiar with them which makes this next bit a little strange to us.
There are two separate menu locations for slots, one that opens up the options on the homepage and then one that takes you to a dedicated page with a slots header at the top. Both of these slot sections have the games organized by their creator company. While this is great if you know the exact game you are looking for and for some reason know what company created it, but for the rest of us, it doesn’t really help a whole lot.
Let’s say Cool Diamond II is one of your favorite games. If you’re like the rest of us, you would probably want to look under the alphabetical listing of games to see if that one exists on the site or use a search function to find it. Unfortunately, the only way to find it on FortuneJack is to know that the game is made by Amatic and click on their tab or sift through every single game until you locate it.
UPDATE: We completely missed this on our first several passes through the site, and that’s not a fault of our own. There is a search function on both menus to help you find the game you are looking for. On the homepage menu, it’s labeled on the right-hand side of the screen. If you click the dedicated slot games tab from the top, though, it is not labeled on that page but is just a black, gray area. The only way we found it was by clicking around on the page for a while and noticing a cursor to type popped up.
Regardless, we’d like to see a different way of organizing the games (maybe alphabetically or by style) instead of by parent company. We’d also like to see more attention drawn to the search functions, especially on the dedicated slot games tab.
One other perk we would like to mention before giving you the complete list of games offered is that all of the games at FortuneJack are available to be played for free without creating an account. This is great for testing out the different games and seeing if they have ones that you’re going to enjoy playing for real.
Here is the complete list of games offered by FortuneJack. As much as we’re annoyed by how they organized the games by the creator, we’re going to do it the same way here. That way if you see the one you like on this list, you’ll be able to locate it quickly when you go to the site. We’ve also gone ahead and alphabetized the games which they are not at FortuneJack.
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Casino Games

Immediately we saw some positives and areas for improvement for the casino section, or sections, of FortuneJack. The reason we say sections is because the organization is a little haywire with the games. Again, they have two menu locations for the games, and in both spots, they’re separated into different categories. We’ll do our best to walk you through what they have to offer.
Regarding quality, all of the games look to be of good quality with nothing glaringly bad sticking out. Their table style games did seem to be of higher quality than most other sites we’ve looked at where they always seem to gloss over them and skimp on quality. This is definitely a positive if you like playing table style casino games.

Live Dealers

This is the first casino-style game tab in the first menu from the home page. On the homepage, they are all listed together, but if you access it through the dedicated page from the very top menu, they’re separated by the provider.

Roulette

This tab was only available on the homepage menu and not on the dedicated games page. It’s important to point out that the quality of the games here looks to be a lot higher than what we’ve seen from other sites in the past including some of the industry giants.

Poker

The poker section was available on both menus except if you tried to access the game list from the dedicated page from the very top menu, you can’t see any of the games without logging in. If you use the secondary menu on the homepage a little further down, you can see all the games listed without logging in. You aren’t able to play any of them, but the options are there to at least see them and be able to judge quality as well based on the posted graphics. We were again impressed with the quality of these games especially graphically speaking.

Blackjack

As we mentioned earlier, FortuneJack has a lot of different game variations where other sites only have a few of the more mainstream versions. This is especially true in the blackjack section where they have a ton of different options of high-quality games to play. Blackjack games can be seen from the secondary menu, but there is no tab on the main menu at the top of the page that directs to dedicated pages. If you can’t tell already, we are a bit annoyed by the multiple menus with some stuff being on both and some only being on one or the other.

Provably Fair

This may be a new term to you as it was to us as well. Provably fair is a new way that casinos are actually letting you take part in the randomization and shuffling of cards. They allow you to provide some “instructions” to reshuffle the cards after they have. Basically, the casino shuffler uses random numbers to generate a random shuffle, but sometimes people worry these random numbers aren’t that random.
What provably fair allows you to do is supply your own random number either manually or automatically generated by your computer. This random number is used in the shuffling algorithm. This ensures that you are getting a completely random shuffle and it’s impossible for the casino to be cheating you. In a brick and mortar casino setting, this would be equivalent to letting you cut the cards after the dealer has shuffled.
This is an insanely simplified definition of what it is, but it should get the gist of it across. It’s basically designed for the completely untrusting who don’t trust online casinos or the third party auditors that keep them in line. Personally, we just trust the safety measures and third-party auditing, but for the skeptical ones of the bunch, this may be perfect for you.
As we’ve been talking about, there is a menu across the top that sends you to dedicated pages for some sections and then a menu further down the homepage that showcases everything on the homepage. Everything above we were doing from the homepage menu because it was much more user-friendly and showed us a lot more without the need to create an account.
Just for completeness, here are the different sections included under the Games tab from the top level menu that sends you to dedicated pages. If any of that confused you at all, you can understand our mild frustration with the layout.
It’s also worth noting that there is a Dice tab at the top menu that doesn’t take you anywhere. Maybe they are in the works of building that out or just forgot to link it somewhere.
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Banking Options

All banking on FortuneJack is done through Bitcoin. While some Bitcoin sites will offer other options, FortuneJack is keeping it simple with Bitcoin only. We weren’t able to locate any limits or restrictions but would assume there probably aren’t any due to the nature of Bitcoin. We did make sure to read through the Terms and Conditions section of the site and found nothing about limits or fees or anything like that there. We’d assume everything is a go with them, but you may want to check with support first just to be more informed.
FortuneJack will accept any Bitcoin wallet, but they have a special partnership and recommend using BitGo. Honestly, you don’t have to use this one specifically, and it’s completely up to you which wallet you use. We recommended several in the intro section of this review for you to check out.

Bonus Promotions

Welcome Bonus

FortuneJack offers a 130% welcome bonus on first-time deposits with a maximum bonus of 0.5 Bitcoins (BTC). They also had a secondary welcome bonus available that looked to only be good for larger deposits. It was 130% as well for deposits with a minimum of 0.777 BTC and a maximum bonus of 1.0 BTC.

Monthly Deposit Bonus

FortuneJack has a monthly deposit bonus of 100% up to 1 Bitcoin

Additional Bonuses

They talk about a few other bonus offerings but without a lot of details. They mention that they give away free spins but don’t really talk about how those are dispersed or how you earn them. They also mention having a loyalty program, but we couldn’t find anything about it with details. We’d highly recommend contacting support when you start playing here to make sure that they are giving you every bonus possible and that you’re taking full advantage of everything they have.

Jack’s Race

The site also has weekly leaderboard races for players to compete to win their share of 5 Bitcoins per week. Players will receive points for playing games and the more they play, the more points they will earn. The top 50 players each week will win their share of 5 Bitcoins with the top prize being 1 full Bitcoin.
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Customer Service

Customer service options at FortuneJack were ok with a slight lean towards subpar. They have a contact us form and an email list for you to reach out which is great, though, they don’t list a time frame that you should expect a response. There are no live chat options, social media, or phone numbers for you to use to get in touch with them. Maybe they have the greatest contact form and email support under the sun, but they sure aren’t advertising that if it’s the case.

Conclusion

Overall, FortuneJack is a middle of the road casino for us. The magnitude of the slot offerings and the ease of Bitcoin are huge perks as well as the quality of their casino-style games. The layout was a little annoying but not anything to make us not want to play there. We would like to see some more explanations of their VIP programs and also some more customer service options or at least guarantees of response times listed.
Banking is pretty straightforward with Bitcoin being the only option. This can be viewed as a positive or negative depending on your willingness to use Bitcoin. It does look to be a new currency that is starting to get firmly rooted with mainstream companies all over the world which is a big positive. FortuneJack does list everything in terms of Bitcoins, so you will need to have a very basic understanding of them to use the site. The guide we posted at the beginning of this review should be plenty of knowledge for you.
The bottom line is it’s a cool option for Bitcoin and a definite win for players that like a lot of slot options and quality casino-style games. For everyone else, it’s a middle of the road casino that will come down to personal preference whether you want to play there or not.
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Wild Tornado Casino - free spins, no deposit bonus, promotion

Wild Tornado Casino - free spins, no deposit bonus, promotion
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Wild Tornado Casino Review & Bonuses
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About Wild Tornado Casino

The Wild Tornado Theme

Wild Tornado has a unique and colourful theme, but it’s also one that may seem familiar to you. As it happens, the Wild Tornado Casino layout is the same one used at Gunsbet Casino, which we have also reviewed here at Coinbuzz.
However, that really just covers the layout, including the placement of the menu options, the sidebar, the main graphics, games, and well, pretty much everything except for the finer details. The good news is that it’s still unique enough to work, with a theme that revolves around strong winds, manic bunny rabbits, and other eccentric visuals.
Like all good online casinos, the Wild Tornado theme runs much deeper than a few basic visuals. It’s something that you will see throughout the casino and something that also influences the promotions and the VIP Program, all of which we will cover in this Wild Tornado review.

Wild Tornado Casino Bonuses and Promotions

The Wild Tornado Welcome Bonus is one of the smallest we have seen on Direx online casinos. This includes the 2 BTC offered by KatsuBet Casino and the 4 BTCs available at CryptoWild. Even the smallest casinos tend to go all-out where their Bitcoin casino bonuses are concerned.
However, at Wild Tornado, players are limited to just $100. This comes in the form of a 100% Matched Deposit Bonus, with a minimum qualifying deposit of $20. You will also get a bundle of 100 Free Spins and these are released as batches of 20 over 5 days.
The second issue we have with this bonus is that it has a wagering requirement of 40x and this needs to be cleared in just 2 days. That’s not too difficult if you’re a high roller, but what about the players risking just $0.10 or $0.20 per spin? In fact, even if you do like to throw your money around, you’ll still need to spend some time on these requirements as there is a maximum bet of $1.
Other bonuses are available at Wild Tornado and these are offered to loyal players. At the time of writing, these offers are available every Monday, Saturday, and Sunday, and they include Free Spins, Reload offers, and Cashback. Check the Wild Tornado promotions page for more information and make sure you read the Terms and Conditions before you agree to anything.
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Loyalty Bonus

While the Wild Tornado Welcome Bonus isn’t very generous or rewarding, the Loyalty Scheme definitely is.
There are three versions of this bonus and they all offer something a little different. You can choose to be part of the Tornado, Lightning, or Storm level, and the one you choose will dictate whether you get weekly cashback, weekly cashback and comp points, or Free Spins.
There is no ideal option, but if you’re a small stake player, we recommend sticking with the Storm option and the Free Spin bonuses that goes along with it. For medium stake players, opt for Tornado. For high rollers, the Lightning may provide the best bonuses, as it offers much higher cash back rewards when you make it to the latter stages.
Visit the Wild Tornado VIP Program page to see a full list of loyalty prizes and options. Bear in mind that in addition to the cashback and spins listed here, you will also be offered additional Reload offers, Free Spins, and other prizes as you advance through the program.

Wild Tornado Casino Software and Games

The average online casino has around 500 to 1,000 real money slots and many have fewer than 100 table games. It’s a decent-sized collection and one that will appeal to most types of players, but once you’ve played at multiple casinos like this, you start seeing the same games time after time and it gets old fast.
At Wild Tornado, you have a lot more variety to explore. This top-rated crypto casino has over 3,000 real money slots and a massive 1,000 table games.
We’re not sure that we’ve ever seen a large collection of table games. In fact, we’re not even sure why you would ever need that many table games. But variety is good, and we’re not complaining.
These titles are provided by a host of highly-rated online casino developers, including a few player favourites like Yggdrasil Gaming, Pragmatic Play, Big Time Gaming, and Microgaming.
Wild Tornado also has a specific section for BTC Games. You can find the link for this section in the website’s footer, where it highlights games such as Geisha, Spin and Spell, Undying Passion, Donut Rush, and Signs of Fortune.
If you’re one of those players who has seen it all and you’re always looking for something new, we recommend sticking with the New Games section. This is where you’ll find all the latest slots by the casino’s 20+ developers. There is also a section for “Hot Games”, but as is often the case, these are just the games that the casino wants to highlight at that particular moment.
It’s like the Specials menu at a restaurant. They want you to think that the options are there because they are popular and/or special, but in reality, it’s just the stuff that earns the restaurant the most money.

Highlights

  • Vast Selection of Games
  • Great Slots and Table Games
  • Top Support Options
  • Fast Withdrawals
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Wild Tornado Casino Payment Options

In recent years, there has been a trend towards charging fees for casino deposits. Casinos encourage players to use options like Bitcoin by charging a fee of between 1% and 3% for everything else, including Visa, MasterCard, Skrill, and Neteller.
Thankfully, there are no such issues with Wild Tornado.
The minimum deposit here is just €20, or the equivalent in your chosen currency, and like most Direx casinos, the maximum is fixed at €4,000. Also just like most Direx casinos, there is no maximum when you use Bitcoins. In fact, the site accepts payments through CoinsPaid, which is one of the easiest and fastest way to fund your account with Bitcoins.
Most methods require you to withdraw a minimum of €50, and Bitcoin is fixed to 0.001 BTC. This is very large and will no doubt be off-putting for traditional currency users, especially when you consider that the casino is geared up to appeal to small stake players. It’s even worse if you use iDebit, Bank Transfers or Instadebit, as the minimum withdrawals for these methods are fixed at €500.
On the plus side, while bank transfer withdrawals typically incur a fee, there is no such issue with Wild Tornado.

Everything Else

In the unlikely event that you have an issue with Wild Tornado, look for the “Complaints” link in the website footer. This will direct you to a contact form where you can vent about any issues you have with the site and its features. If this doesn’t work out for you and you have a genuine complaint, you can take it to a third-party website, as Wild Tornado typically makes an effort to respond to comments made on other sites (see below).
The Wild Tornado site can be displayed in 15 different languages, but 5 of these are different variations of English. These include Canadian, New Zealand, and Australian English. They all have their own unique quirks and spellings, and this makes the differences worthwhile, if not a little redundant.
Other languages include Spanish, Polish, French, German, and Russian, while currency options include Canadian Dollars, Euros, Russian Rubles, and Australian Dollars.
Wild Tornado is tightly regulated, incredibly secure, and uses advanced auditing features to ensure it is fair. All games have built-in RTPs and house edges and you can see these by clicking the little menu icon in the top corner. The same gamescreen that shows the payout info will also show you the game’s rules, paylines, features, and everything else you need to know.
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Wild Tornado Casino Mobile Support

Wild Tornado is very mobile friendly and uses instant play technology, which means you can play through your browser and don’t need to download an app. Some players still like to play downloadable casinos and mobile apps, but we feel that the majority are leaning towards instant play. It’s quicker, easier, and you don’t need to worry about compatibility issues because of your chosen operating system or device.
Just make sure you’re using a popular web browser and a device or computer that was made in the last ten years, and you should be good to go. When playing on mobile, you should also secure your device using a passcode or fingerprint/face and log out of the casino when you finish.
As long as you protect your device and play using a secure Wi-Fi connection, there should be no risks and no issues.
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Whamoo Casino 50 free spins bonus no deposit required

Whamoo Casino 50 free spins bonus no deposit required
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Whamoo Casino Gratis Spins and Promotions
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Whamoo Casino Review

The first thing you might want to learn about Whamoo Casino is that the site has been opened in December 2020. So, this is one of the latest online casino sites out there. However, there is so much more you should know about them. In our review and analysis, we will tell you all the secret details. Keep reading to find out about their owners, licenses, bonuses, promotion, gaming portfolio, payment methods, and more!

Licenses and Operators – Who Owns Whamoo Casino?

The site is registered and run under MGA, the Malta Gaming Authority. It is one of the most prestigious online gambling licenses. The best sites are secured with MGA’s online gaming permission. However, the MGA license is not the only guarantee that proves Whamoo Casino’s trustworthiness. DialMedia Ltd owns and operates Whamoo Casino. Long story short, they are responsible for all the gaming services at the site. And their name makes sure you will enjoy your winnings here. They also run Omni Slots Casino and Fruits4Real Casino. If you know online gambling sites, you know those sites, come on!

Privacy, Safety & Security – Is it a Safe and Legit Online Casino Site?

As we mentioned above, Whamoo Casino is registered under the laws of the Malta Gambling Authority. In addition, the site owners also put a high pressure on protecting their customers’ privacy. The site uses a 128-bit, high-rated encryption technology. It makes sure that all your data will be safely protected. You have no reason to worry about third parties taking advantage of your activities at this site. The MGA license makes sure that you will get the money that you win while playing here. The site follows all GDPR regulations. Based on all these, I believe it is only fair to name them a safe and trustworthy online casino site.
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About Whamoo Casino Bonuses – Claim up to €600 Extra Money

Not that you know about the owners, licenses, and privacy measurements of the site, maybe it’s time to register. Opening a new account at the site is worth it now. Sign up through GamingZion. We will help you claim €600 upon your first three deposits. In the Welcome Package, you can claim a 75% third deposit bonus up to €200 + 40 free spins, a 50% second deposit bonus up to €200 + 30 free spins, and a 100% first deposit bonus up to €200. So, you will get extra money upon your first three deposits. Not bad, is it? And other daily offers are also there for you…

About Whamoo Casino Promotions – Win New Prizes Every Day

If you have registered your new account at Whamoo Casino and took your welcome package of €600, that’s good. However, your treats aren’t over just yet. Navigate yourself to the Promotions section in the top menu bar. You will not be disappointed, we guarantee that! You can immediately see the promotions calendar for the current and the upcoming months. And you will see that there is something basically every day… Claim weekly free spins and daily match bonuses, or other prizes. You can see whichever you like the most. You will also find the best offers in our online gambling promotions directory.
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Available Games – Play your Favourite Online Casino Slots

Now you know about the bonuses and the promotions. However, the impressive and outstanding features of the site are still not over. We must talk about the gaming portfolio as well! Is there any type of online gambling game that you’re specifically looking for? Start searching for it here, chances are, you will easily find it. Slots, jackpots, table games, video poker, bingo, keno… They are all there, and they are all waiting just for you to finally start playing. Will you?

Whamoo Live Casino – Enjoy The Real-Life Gambling Experience

We’ve already talked about the gaming portfolio, but we haven’t talked about the live casino section yet. It’s time. We must mention it because it has quite an impressive selection when it comes to roulette, baccarat, and blackjack games. You can find many types of those games, with many different dealers. You can pick whichever you like the most – and you can easily try all those games. Unfortunately, there are still ways to improve the live casino selection, nevertheless. For example, live poker slots are definitely missing for now. Probably they are coming soon!
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Whamoo Mobile Casino – Play Mobile Slots on iOS & Android

There is no Whamoo Casino mobile app just yet. Which can be interpreted as bad news as well as good news. It could be bad because apps make it easier to play. However, it’s rather good. You don’t need to spend time trying to find the Whamoo mobile application. You don’t need to visit shady sites, download an unknown apk file, and hope for the best. You just need to open your browser on your phone and access the site. It’s totally responsive, so it doesn’t matter which divice you use, you will definitely be able to access the page, log in to your account, and play your favourite slots. Android, iOS, and other operating systems’ users can all play here!

About Whamoo Casino Payment Methods – How to Deposit & Withdraw Money

We also need to talk about the available payment methods at Whamoo Casino as well. There are certain limitations: if you wish to deposit money, you must make a deposit of at least €10. You can deposit up to €1,000 and no more! There are many available banking methods. These vary whether you’d like to deposit or withdraw your money. Please scroll lower to our Banking section. That’s where we list all the available depositing and withdrawal methods at Whamoo Casino.
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Rules and Restrictions – Who can Register and Play?

This is probably the only negative part of Whamoo Casino. While the site has the prestigious MGA license, unfortunately, as of today, they have not captured a license from the UK Gambling Committee. So, they cannot operate their services in the United Kingdom. In addition, Whamoo Casino is also not accessible from the USA. There are a few other restricted countries. You can see the full list if you scroll a bit lower to our Restricted Countries section. If your country of residence is not listed, then you should probably sign up for a new account at Whamoo Casino. You won’t regret it!

Overall Verdict

2020 hasn’t really been an easy year for any of us. We have suffered plenty, many of us have lost several loved ones, the Earth has been attacked by numerous natural catastrophes in the past few months. However, we cannot stop believing that better things are coming. All these might start with the launching and finding of our new favourite online gaming site – Whamoo Casino. Their impressive gaming selection will definitely help us ease the pain we got from last year’s traumatic experiences. Let’s hope for the best. Let’s be optimistic. Let’s win!
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